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Jack of All Trades

Everything posted by yui

  1. this thread could do with a natural blend of magic and comedy
  2. To call it sudden was an understatement. It was supposed to be a one-night-stand thing - far from uncommon in the open relationship between her and Collin - and the girl Abby had hooked up with said she wanted to do something unconventional. So the two left campus late that night, made a short stop by a convenience store for snacks, and while they were out and about... "Look out!" It and the monstrous truck horn was just about the only warning Abby had gotten, and it still wasn't nearly enough. By the time she'd heard the latter and turned to face the forty tons of steel and cargo barreling towards her, she was already face-to-face with the grill of the beast. The panic of a semi truck sliding in her direction wasn't exactly the last feeling she'd wanted to experience in this life, but it was now what she was stuck with. There was the horn, then the truck, then the impact. That last one sounded like it should be the most painful thing she'd ever experienced, but it was only painful in the same sense that a lightning bolt was bright. A brief instant of indescribable pain, as if somebody had set off a chain of explosives inside her body, but just as suddenly as the pain came, it was gone. And then... nothing. No sight. No sound. She couldn't even feel her own body, though she doubted she'd want to at the moment. Just herself, a void of nothing, and some sort of voice that wasn't hers. Whatever it was, she either couldn't make it out, or simply didn't understand what it was saying. It gave her time to think about what had happened, though. And for the panic to set back in. That really happened? She'd been slammed by a truck? What was Collin going to think? He wasn't the jealous type, as was abundantly clear, but he was very much the protective type. He'd blame that poor girl, probably. And what about her? Not just what Collin might say to her either; she was just looking for a fun night out and witnessed a tragic case of vehicular manslaughter. And then there was the trucker who definitely wasn't getting out of this with his job intact. Oh no. Her parents. She almost didn't want to think what sort of legal fury they'd unleash on the trucker and/or his company once word got to them. This was all a mess. A terrible, awful, no-good mess, and it very much did not suit her. Getting caught up in it or worrying so much about it. But how was she supposed to not? She died after all! D-E-A-T-H death! Was it too late to like, get a second chance? Try to bargain with the powers that be? Even as she asked that mystery voice, she remembered the language barrier between it and her. So that was no good. But it must have liked the idea, because once it stopped talking, Abby felt something. Like the feeling of going up on an elevator, but way faster. And then... Bong. Bong. Bong. A sound! And when Abby opened her eyes, sights! Old sights, but sights all the same. Some kinda church, occupied by a few other people in addition to herself. The stained glass was nice. She'd always liked this stuff, though she had to admit, she'd never seen windows quite like these ones. Antlered snakes? Wolves? A tree? An orca? A far cry to say the least from the usual images stained glass called to mind. Must be a pagan church or something. They've got churches, right? And then there were the people. Immediately, the one that stuck out like a sore thumb to Abby was the one wearing what was absolutely a deer fursuit. She had to give props for the dedication, but while she was far from an expert on theology, she was pretty sure becoming animals wasn't part of the pagan checklist. Eventually, one of them broke the silence. Some guy - pretty tall even by normal people standards - who seemed like a decent sort. "So. Did you guys just die too? Or have you been here for a minute?" "I want to say we may've all just died... so does this make this heaven then?" "Fufufu...That's not it at all. I know exactly what this is! For it was prophesied since my birth! We were sent to save this world from a great evil. Specially chosen to fulfill a grand destiny!" Oh, saving the world seemed like fun. But the way this girl talked implied this was a different world. And while saving it would be great and all, Abby would have much preferred to go back to the one she was in before her unfortunate meeting with a hydroplaning semi truck. “I find it improbable that this is Heaven. More likely to be a form of Purgatory. Note the lack of doors and anyone to greet us. Hmm… I wonder if there is a common thread between our deaths.” Say, hadn't Abby seen that guy before? Aside from being REALLY tall, she could have sworn she saw his face before. Definitely a doctor - he had the badge and everything - so someone that got brought up in a lecture perhaps? She couldn't quite make out the name on his badge from here though. She'd have to work that out later. Of course, that mystery was completely removed from her train of thought - a train that got violently derailed - when he continued speaking. “I shot myself. How did you die?” "Whoa, hold on, what?" Abby didn't mean to speak out of turn or anything, but the words just flew from her mouth before she could think to not blurt them out. But now she was already talking. Probably best to not leave it at that. "Shot yourself? Like, with a gun? You good, doc? Er... that aside, hi! Didn't mean to cut in line or anything, but hi, I'm Abby, I got ran over by a truck. I'm still a bit sore from the whole thing."
  3. hard to tell if i've posted this yet i have a bit of trouble telling one seth david thumbnail from another
  4. As the rest of the circus that was her fellow Class 2s began filing into the room, Letty paid them little mind. She wasn't too keen on small talk right now; she'd been called away from her own busywork just to attend some sort of emergency meeting, and she wanted to give Saint Peter nothing but her undivided attention over what could have been so urgent that this meeting couldn't have been an e-mail or something. Even receiving and accepting her orders via carrier pigeon would have been better than this. Luckily, the good Saint wasn't one to dilly-dally, and got right down to business. "As I'm sure you're all aware, S.Y.S. has been losing countless amounts of Lost Souls to Hell these days, and our number of Class 2 Soulders hasn't been this low since the foundation. Class 1 Soulders. They're mainly pencil pushers, but they can handle Lost Souls well enough to escort them to the afterlife. Class 2 Soulders are the ones capable of recruiting stronger lost souls to S.Y.S.. This has been your main goal since you were contracted. Class 3 Soulders are used to fight off Hell itself." Maybe not right down to business. Rattling off some details everyone already knew seemed tedious and redundant, but it was probably for the sake of pacing or something. Still. A refresher never hurt though; some people in the room had probably forgotten what their job was with how little some Class 2s actually worked. "You Class 2's haven't been pulling your weight, and I'm getting pressure from the higher ups to run you ragged. But I don't want to do that. I know you all work hard in your own ways, but S.Y.S. needs to step it up. From here on out, Class 2 Soulders shall be assigned a team of 5, and are to meet a quota of recruiting 1 Lost Soul per week. Now, before I have to do it myself, I suggest you find some people you like and make a team yourself. After reporting to me, I'll assign you your first mission by the end of the day. DISMISSED!" Oh. Only one per week? Well, this was awkward. Letty had already been doing a few more than that per week to try and shorten her contract. Ironically, the pressure to run Class 2s ragged was now telling Letty on an official level that she could get away with less work, and in a bigger team to boot! Then it was just a matter of assembling a team... "We got five here...instead of lollygaggin' around with us tryin' to find a team of five, just have us here be the team of five and cut yer losses. Just thinkin' it could be a lot easier that way. But I'm just speakin' out loud and most likely out of turn and order, but I'm just bein' honest." And the cowboy had a brilliant idea! Just grab whoever was nearby and hope for the best! "Alright. Alright, no pussyfooting around. Virgil said we have five, so there's no reason to keep looking. Why don't we just get this shit-show over with?" "A wonderful idea. I look forward to working with you all." It's the easy afterlife from now on! More team, less work! And if I can work these suckers until they're blue in the face and rake in a ton of souls, surely I'll get a few years shaved off my contract! With the team assembled, there was only the matter of actually doing the work. Though, getting to know the team was probably a good idea too. "So, to our lovely teammates who I haven't met yet, I'm Letty. My Soulverdrive lets me track any target I make eye contact with, no matter how far they run or where they choose to hide. It also lets me destroy anything between me and them. If we're going to be a team, we should at least know that much about each other, don't you think?"
  5. knock knock new akatsuki records pv
  6. and now for an interesting one because i haven't actually listened to this and i'm not going to until i hear it in-game
  7. these gauntlets that were one of the winners for FF14's weapon design contest
  8. time for some saxual content
  9. Ida had mentioned that name again. Holloword. When she'd first mentioned it as being where that core thief was from, Magpie had assumed it was some clan or another of bandits and brigands. But as Ida went on to elaborate, it seemed it was much more than that. A whole city, dedicated to making things the way they were! In theory, anyway. Maybe Ida's description was meant to draw people away from wanting to pay it a visit, but the more Magpie listened, the more she wanted to see this place for herself. Or rather, the more she needed to go there. "Your worth in Holloword is based purely upon the worth of your salvage. You do all the digging and all of it goes to the higher-ups… to their leader Hav, in particular. And you’re lucky to get a crumb of bread in exchange for it. Salvage is your money, salvage is your food, salvage is your bed, salvage is your life." Constant labor in exchange for glorified table scraps. It wasn't even a job where you could gain some degree of fame and glory, like killing people in the pit. It was just salvage and digging. And with the dread Ida seemed to have toward Holloword, this Hav character was certainly not lacking in resources dug up by everyone else. Large civilian population, then. Probably knows their way around their tools. All the sharp and pointy bits included. "Not like he got where he is by being the meanest bastard around. He’ll rip that weirdo core out of your rig, bash you in the teeth with it, and leave you to the vultures. If you’re lucky." He must be armed himself. And have lots of guys with guns protecting him. Definitely not a one-man job. She hated to admit it, but she'd probably have to rely on that warrior princess for help. “Now, you are correct. It’s become a disaster, and I would heavily advise against heading there. A few travelers leaving the area had visited my home in the past and they did not have kind things to say about Holloword. If you want to steal from them, you’ll have your work cut out for you.” Well, it's a good thing I'm not a thief, then. "Ida, how many people are starving there?" "... Twenty thousand? Thirty? It’s the biggest settlement in this part of the wasteland, it draws people who wish it was… the way it used to be, like flies to a light. Hell, the population might even reach into the hundred-thousands, I can’t say for sure." The hundred-thousands! Definitely a large civilian population! More people than there are bullets, maybe? With that many people in one place, I can only think of one reason the place is a disaster... "They would be better off without their taskmaster?" "Why… am I… the only one worried about those people? Is that really what this place is like? Escape if you can and leave behind those who can't?" "I would love to do something about it, would love to have some way to help those back there. But it takes a hell of a lot more than one woman with a conscience to change a place like Holloword, Miss Alliyma. I couldn't and neither can you. That's the fact of it, none of us are happy with it, but all of us have to live with it." More than one, indeed... Magpie watched as Alliyma stormed off from the meeting. She had a plan, and the warrior princess was a central part of it. Unceremoniously slipping away from the group herself, Magpie took off in Alliyma's direction. She seemed to already be in a sour mood, so it was best to get straight to business. "How tough is that armor? If you were, say for example, invading the base of an oppressive taskmaster, and he had men with guns, would the bullets break your armor?" Avoiding direct eye contact, Alliyma thought for a moment, stretching her shoulders slightly, "I know it can repel small arms fire like nothing. Anything that can pierce through an armored rig could probably do me in, but those are easy enough to avoid. Why do you ask?" "We have a common interest. I'm not going to pretend I'm some bleeding heart that cares about others, but I do care about people like Hav. Getting rid of him should go a long way to helping the little people, but we're going to need a lot more than just us." Eyes alight in anticipation, Magpie then made her intentions perfectly clear. "I want to train the masses of Holloword to use their tools as weapons, and kill Hav in a revolution that will finally let them build the lives they believed in." "I doubt your keeper would be on board with such an ambitious plan." "That's her problem. I'm not asking if she wants in; I'm asking if you do. You seem more the 'proper warrior' type with formal training and all that, which I'm not. Somebody has to know how to instruct these people to fight, and how to organize groups in the size we'd need to pull this off. And I can't do that, and I also can't kill Hav without help from somebody that can." "Throwing the masses at his ivory tower is just making them into cannon fodder. I won't be able to train them to the point they could solve this problem themselves." "Training them at all is good enough. Even if we can't throw them directly at Hav, having an armed and trained majority at your back is far better than just two people who can do a bit of stabbing. We can figure out how to best put that manpower to use later. However we get there, killing Hav is the only way to really set these people free, so are you in or not?" "Of course I am, Little Bird." "Fantastic." Satisfied with her recruitment efforts, Magpie finally returned to the group, sitting beside Ida and leaning over toward her so-called "keeper", as Alliyma had described her. "I know D-Rigs are your field of expertise, but how well can you work with smaller things? Like, say, basic tools doled out by an oppressive taskmaster so people can labor for whatever table scraps he deigns to hand out? Could you turn them into viable weapons? For killing people?" Ida turned to give Mapgie one long, baffled blink. "What?" "Weapons! If I gave you something like a pickaxe or a shovel, could you turn them into weapons?" "Yeeees," Ida said slowly, eyebrow raised. "It's obviously not my area of expertise, as you said, but it doesn't take too much effort to make something that can punch through metal punch through fl-" She stopped abruptly, having finally processed the word salad of Magpie's question. "Magpie," she hissed, trying to remain unheard as she turned away from the fire, placing her back to the others to try and muffle her voice. "Holloword is just another arena, but bigger, crueller, and with even fewer rules in your favor. Sid's not thought this through, it's suicide!" "I'm changing the rules," Magpie replied in an equally hushed tone. "You said it yourself, there's maybe hundreds of thousands of people there. We're going to train them, arm them, and then start a revolution! We help those otherwise-defenseless commonfolk fight back, kill Hav in the chaos, do a bit of extra clean-up, and Holloword finally gets to be what the people want. Alliyma over there is on board. We have a mobile base, an instructor for the would-be fighters, yours truly, we just need better gear for the little people." "Alliyma? The woman you were ready to stab full of holes a few hours ago?" "We have a common interest. She wants to set them free, I want to kill the taskmaster, both of those things involve a very dead Hav." Ida sighed. "It sounds so simple in the first minutes of it, doesn't it, Magpie? It always does." She reached out a hand to the girl's shoulder. "You're young and you've survived so much, you feel invincible, like everything is a limitless possibility before you... Some ways are a waste of time. Trust me on that." She pulled back, shaking her head as she removed her glasses to clean them with an oil-stained rag. "I can't, Magpie. For so many reasons." "Then stay behind. Forcing you to go would make me no better than Hav, but I'm still going to Holloword, setting the stage to tear him down, then dying my spear red with his insides."
  10. It was a lovely new day. The perfect day to take some names and sign on with a new crew... and bring Ziun along, too. One of the most important lessons to learn in the pirate business was that first impressions are everything. A good first impression meant target ships would just hand their goods over without a fight, and a captain who left a shitty first impression on his crewmates would find himself in an uphill battle to keep control of the crew. As such, Robin had spent the day making sure she was at her absolute best for today's main event: Her meeting with this party of adventurers that were plunging into the Dungeon. She'd thoroughly washed every inch of her body and outfit, polished her guns until she could count the hairs on her head in her reflection, kitted herself up as if she was about to enter the Dungeon herself with her multitude of firearms strapped to her person, and spent several hours staring at herself in the mirror and adjusting this detail or that until she was confident she was looking just about the best she ever had in her life. It wasn't until she heard the sound of the tavern downstairs being met with its first patrons of the day that she finally left her room. Once she started down the stairs, more than anything, her main concern was the possibility that the group she was looking for wouldn't have assembled just yet. After some glancing around, however, her concerns were met with a wave of relief. At a table, she could count up three guests, one of whom was the lady Robin had encountered just yesterday. Before heading over their way, however, she made one quick extra stop. She needed a quick word with the local bard, after all. "I may have forgotten to mention, but I think I found us some adventurers looking to head into the Dungeon, same as us. Keep an eye on the group I'm about to sit down with." That was it. Just those brief words and a cheerful wink, before turning away from her newfound adventure partner to meet up with her potential adventure party. An introduction into which Robin slid with practiced ease. With none of the social caution one might exercise around strangers, Robin pulled up a chair to join the trio at their spot, giving her acquaintance from yesterday a small wave as she got comfortable. "Lovely to see you again so soon. And this must be the group you told me about!" They certainly looked capable. Maybe not of getting all the way down to the Spark, but certainly of making some progress. "Nice to meet you all. I'm Robin, and I specialize in marksmanship by use of these pistols you see strapped to me. And much like the three of you, I'm looking to make it to the heart of the Dungeon and get my hands on the Spark. If you need an extra pair of hands or two, I and that bard over there would be delighted to join your merry little crew."
  11. rating on video would also be neat since this was like a big-ass project according to OP
  12. oya oya an isekai rp could be fun, i'm in
  13. $549.99 WHAT A DEAL!

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