Blake

I understand where you're coming from. I do. Most of my time spent creating has me seeing parts of myself in my characters, especially those used in RPs. But, that's just it. They're made with parts of me, not a mere reflection. And I greatly enjoy letting them become themselves. Sure, I supply the breath of life and the base for the clay, but as the table spins, I hold my hands only near it, as to keep the clay from falling apart... Yet able to find its own shape. I find great joy in my characters growing beyond my basic ideas or expectations for them. And I don't think there's anything wrong with infusing yourself into the character or making them less than perfect. You can ask just about anyone I've RPd with, most of my character suffer. A lot. I don't give them a perfectly happy setting from the getgo... But I plan to walk by their side so they can eventually get there. Orphans, victims, former murderers, identity and self-worth issues, trans, fear of failure, abusive homes... It isn't a crime for them to be weak... Only to abandon them to that weakness, to figure out their own way up. As I said with the clay, I continue watching it so that it doesn't fall apart, not so that I can shape its form. I trust my creations to find their way forward, to become who they're meant to be, with their creator at their backs, ready to catch them when they fall.

Welcome, welcome, welcome to my meat lair. I, uh... I mean to my little corner of the internet where I talk about my opinions on things in a barely filtered ramble. I spend a lot of time in my head philosophizing and theorizing about the world around me, the nature of identity, the human condition, fiction as a whole, the deeper nature of concepts like sin, and things of the like, and there seemed to be non-zero interest... Never really traditionally blogged before, so here goes nothing. ----- Well, I said all that, but I'm kinda getting cold feet trying to decide what to ramble about first... But maybe I'll start with fiction. @PhoenixOfCute, @Kazooie, and I just finished watching a series based on the idea of characters existing within our world. While the premise is, honestly, probably a bit cliche... But the metafictional aspect ended up adding a lot to my thoughts over the past few weeks that we watched it over. Other than attempts when I was newer to creative writing, I ended up looking at the worlds and characters I created as if I was... the god of that world. That I controlled the world, and it was my duty to my creations to lead and support them. Of course, this started as mostly a sentiment in the back of my mind, and I took a long break from creative processes... But it ended up growing more and more with time, until it reached that point. I had control of the universe. The characters. Their abilities. Their stories. I had to be responsible, and treat them like humans. Show them the love of a benevolent god, a parent, and always do my best for them. But, more than that... I treated my characters like actual people. Some more than others, but as time went on, more and more of them. To the point that I cried the first time I killed a character off. A villain of the week. Who had just premiered. Killing them on screen just... broke my heart. I brought them into existence. I made their world. And I... let them die. Let them suffer. And that hurt me. For my main story I'm working on/have been for the better part of a decade, a friend who was helping me wanted me to include a trans character. And while I was dating a trans person and wanted to be supportive I just... the idea of making someone with that suffering built-in rubbed me wrong. It made me scared. I didn't want someone I made with love to be born in a form that didn't make them happy. Just... cruel to do that to them. I've gotten past this, for the most part, with time, but... it just... scared me. Time has made my thought of treating MY characters as real beings grow to the point of treating things others have made the same way. Someone made them. Some creators are cruel. Some are kind. Some are merely forces of nature. Some aim try to make the world and story interesting. Some just use the story as a mark that they existed. There are so many reasons for worlds coming into existence... yet they don't matter to the reality of those worlds. I believe in the ability to create as a divine blessing, so to speak. The ability to create as we were created. Sure, that ties into my faith, but I think the idea is solid even to people who aren't religious. It's the idea that the worlds that we create, the stories we weave, the characters we give birth to exist, even if only in our own minds... Or, especially, in the minds of those who consume our stories. Art. Music. I'm most inclined to the storytelling aspect of creation, but I feel all of these are a deeply beautiful experience that we, as humans, are blessed to have... And what we do with it matters. A number of stories I've read, watched, or seen tackle this topic. Good metafiction tackles the idea of the world beyond the screen being "real" in some capacity. Undertale, Re:CREATORS, and a number of other series, which I shall not tackle for fear of spoiling. The latter of those two is the series we just finished, and, well... It opened my eyes up to some things I hadn't considered. For example, as the creator of a world, I should try and enrich it as much as possible. Its own stories or myths. Making sure the food and drink in the world are enjoyable and vibrant, not just stock items to fill up on (credits to Redwall's author here, that man fucking describes some food). And... I shouldn't let my own curses infect them too much. It's so easy to infuse your own suffering or sadness into your world, and while it can be cathartic to do so... I shouldn't let my world become consumed with my own shortcomings. Regrets. Fears. It's such a delicate but beautiful balance that needs to be struck. But, all in all... I just go back to a certain phrase. "Fiction has meaning." I truly, deeply love fiction and creation in all of their forms. Their expression. The new worlds they create, that are real to their creators, if not others. The sensations they elicit. How they can help people. Touch hearts. Change lives. And I really aspire to be someone who can make that kind of fiction one day. ----- I know this wasn't super coherent, but I'm just... sounding out my mind. Trying to sort my thoughts after finishing the series, and fiction seemed like a great place to start.

I'll agree with that. The sauce for Pizza Hut tastes like they use more paste than others, because those bright acidic notes and sweet notes come through a lot more, and that's really the biggest pull for me. That and I like the garlic butter for the crust.

honest is bad dark honest is bad card is legitimately like 10+ years too late

Give me the right one, coward.0

@PhoenixOfCute and I had both recently. We both agree Pizza Hut was greeeeeatly superior. I have no idea what Domino's aversion to actually using pizza sauce is.

The gentleman I am quoting does not share his wishes even though I just wanted to get a land with them ;_;

recycler is probably the best target because generic strong cardd, but this is still nutty why the fuck does it have 2 different searchers

i have been told i'd be the professor realistically i'd be the one living with the crazy bird lady

i buy peace and goodwill hi

exactly my thoughts

A4@

Music So, it's been a while since we've really had a big statement put out or anything. We're almost at 2 years of NCM, and that's incredible! For a splinter community, that really stands out. All because people chose to take a chance and break away from simple numbers and the past itself. A sense of community that is more one of togetherness than obligation. I'm proud of us. Our little community. Sure, it's a quiet little corner of the internet, but it's far from dead. I'd almost go so far as to say that it's just right. Not too big, not too small, not too soft, not too hard. I just... really wanted to take the time, as a member of the staff and the community at large, to thank all of you. I know not everything is perfect. People have fights. Petty feelings can get in the way and blind us. Life gets in the way. People say things they don't mean. People don't say things that they mean to. Even so, there is a sense of community. Grudges don't seem to hold for long. Workarounds are found. Careless words are fixed, and overthought words eventually find their way to where they need to go. Our little home away from home isn't perfect, but it's a damn sight better than what it could have become if we hadn't had stood together. It's so different from what I remember, in general. I feel like I'm an old person looking at the forums and servers, even among people I actually talk to. So much history. So much time. But here you all are. People have come. People have gone. But the community is still here. And while I feel like a fossil, I still look forward to seeing you "younguns" a lot. So, thank you, NCM. For nothing other than being yourselves. Your kindness, your creativity, your intelligence, your humor, all of it. This quiet community means the absolute world to me. I can't speak for the team, in and of itself, but I can at least let you know how much all of you matter to me. And, as an absolutely personal note, I just want to say... if anyone is suffering. If anyone needs a shoulder to cry on. If anyone just needs to express something they don't feel safe to other places... I'm here. I'll listen. I'll give you my Discord if you want it. After all, life isn't easy. 2020 showed us that, if absolutely nothing else. But that doesn't mean you have to be alone. I see you. I'm with you. I'm sure a couple of you know who you are, and I hope you take this to heart... Yet I also hope anyone else who needs this right now sees it as well, and takes it as an opportunity. I love this place. And I love you guys. Thanks for two years, and I hope the third is great, too.

i shamelessly stole from radio cause it seemed fun pick one from each row (for example, you might say i give off "A1@ vibes" but not "123 vibes")  learn more or make your own at https://tinysubversions.com/vibes/ if you want

A1# i think?

If Diana had lacked confidence in the group at the start, she certainly did after what she learned from her Googol searches. There was no way they could overcome that. Even as they stood at the gates, Diana just shook in her boots. Sure, she had told the rest of the group that she felt like Nat was their only chance... The others seemed excited, but there was no way this would go according to plan. Even the support items she had asked for, some shotput balls, a javelin made of magnesium alloys, and a mask themed around her namesake to cover her face, barely managed to calm her nerves. Especially considering the rest of the outfit was just her gym uniform... And then, it began. "welcome 1-A. I, Hemlock, will be your mock villain for the day." Gesturing to herself, the woman's smile broke into a more concerned expression as she said, "though, I feel the need to apologize to all of you. It wasn't really my idea to be a part of this exam, as I'm not normally a hero that does much fighting. So, I regret to inform you of all of the teachers that are taking part in this exam I'm most definitely the weakest. Sorry if that disappoints you." Picking up the brief case by her side with one of her bare hands, the girl presented it to the other students, "oh, but you're all looking for this too right? Please, still try your best and go for the win!" The woman giggled as she gave a reassuring smile to them. Aside from the odd sense of familiarity she always felt around Ms. Yuuka, the humility the teacher showed only served to worsen her fears. The best she could hope to be right now was a distraction, but that came with risks. Clenching her fists tight, and giving them both a look, the student spoke softly. "I'll head on out. Everyone, [I'm counting on you.]" She wouldn't get seriously hurt. It was just a mock battle. There was no way that she could actually be harmed... Right? Taking a deep breath and pulling the lance from her back, the hero-in-training pointed it directly at Hemlock. "[I am Seigi no Hiiro - Artemis Justice, and I AM JUST FINE!] I'll be the one to take the case from you, teacher!" she roared, the mask seemingly causing a bit of an echo effect as she spoke up. She surged forward with the javelin at the ready... but as she approached Hemlock, she still wasn't sure if her heart was really in it. But, with no other choice, Artemis Justice vaulted herself into the air with her weapon, Diana pulled back her left hand and grit her teeth, aiming for the teacher's arm holding the case, the only hope she had riding on her team.