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VampireofDarkness

Darkduchess Desponea

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Darkduchess Desponea
10/DARK/Zombie
?/0
You can banish 1 DARK monster you control whose Level is equal to the number of DARK monsters in your GY to Special Summon this card (from your hand or GY). Gains 700 ATK for each different Type among the DARK monsters in the GYs. Unaffected by other monster effects. Once per turn: You can banish 1 Level 8 or lower "Dark" monster from your hand, except a "Dark Magician" or "Darklord" monster; add 1 "Dark" monster from your Deck to your hand with the same Level as the banished monster, except a Fiend or Machine monster. You can only Special Summon "Darkduchess Desponea" once per turn. You can only control 1 "Darkduchess Desponea".

 

I figured I would start things off a bit.... dark. Here we have a card from an up and coming fanfic/written series I will be bringing to the table soon enough, and while this duel spirit of the main character is afit to an earlier time period, I figured it would be interesting to discuss it amongst a more modern context. This seems like the type of bizarre card that would find its own Deck, albeit one I am unsure of how viable it would be. There are some more..... obvious targets than others, but I think the pool of Dark Counterparts is an interesting one. Unfortunately, there is some issue to translation that I am not sure how to cover, as the aim is to search is within the "ダーク" pool and not the text that represents "Black" in "Black Magician" and "Neo-Spacian Black Panther". ("Darklord" is translated to Fallen Angel, hence that issue) This is also why cards like "Gorz the Emissary of Hades" or the "Dark World" archetype (暗黒界) would not work but say Darkness Destroyer ("ダークネス・デストロイヤー") and Dark Nephthys would ("ダーク・ネフティス"). Some help on that *might* be appreciated, but for now, let's see how far this card can go.

Edited by VampireofDarkness

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Decided I had enough time on my hands to figure out what this can search with its last effect.  Some of the more relevant ones:

 

Cyberdarkness Dragon (Level Ten) => REDMD

Dark Paladin (Level Eight) => Darkest Diabolos LotL, DMoC, and LaDD

Dark Strike Fighter (Level Seven) => Dark Magician/Magician of Dark Illusions, Dark Simorgh, and DAD

Masked HERO Dark Law (Level Six) => DMG

Dark Baltar the Terrible (Level Five) => Kozmoll Dark Lady and Thunder Dragondark

Darkfire Dragon (Level Four) => Supreme King Dragon Darkwurm and Dark Grepher

 

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Not a fan of the card. It has a couple of red flags, starting with the translation differences of  "Dark" for a keyword, then the ability of milling a Dark monster from the ED to search for a non-Fiend or Machine Dark is oddly specific, convoluted and missing flavor since I don't get how, for example, would Cyberdarkness be associated with REDMD, and finally the lack of hard OPTs, which allows you to Summon her multiple times a turn, and get a search for each, at the expense of ED space. As if that wasn't enough, the condition of banishing a monster with Levels equal or lower than the # of DARKs in GY is odd, as it allows the use of Low-Level monsters to access her, and can turn them into beaters if your GY diversity is big enough.

In short, the card is convoluted, not only due to the translation issues on "Dark", also the effects are rather controversial. Even with a much needed hard OPT, I would still have second thoughts on the search effect.

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TL;DR: TCG/OCG would have to overhaul some names they made... So that this card wouldn't be wall of text.

Spoiler

While I know you are trying to take into account of OCG, the fact that you chose a group of cards that is so broad that they aren't even an archetype in themselves makes this a nightmare for TCG to add to your large list of exclusion. Because there is probably quite a few cards out there that have the word "Dark" in TCG, but not the " ダーク" OCG, hypothetically speaking they would have to probably rename a bunch of cards just so this card wouldn't have such an unnecessary list of exclusion like this guy did: https://yugioh.fandom.com/wiki/Arsenal_Summoner I mean look at that... It is ridiculous! There is nothing elegant about that approach which is why I think they have avoided it ever since. Imagine if you found any more "Dark", non- " ダーク" monsters... It would mean you have to add more to your text that would be burdensome to read which by the way you forgot to exclude Gorz. Also, imagine iconic cards like Dark Magician needing to be renamed in order to make this cards text more refined looking.

 

I can appreciate the idea, but there really isn't a way you can circumvent all of this mistranslation without there being changes to current names of the existing cards in the card pool.

 

Now onto the matter of this cards hypothetical viability. Initially, it does already look like it needs some GY set-up to make it as beefy as you need it to be... But, then I read that it could be any Typing of monsters in the GY which makes it really easy to boost this cards ATK as in this day and age there are some splashable Extra Deck engines (namely Knightmare/Orcust engines) that can literally vomit out different typings in the GY provided they go off . And getting a DARK monster in the GY whose Level is equal to or just under the Level DARK monster you have in the GY is actually not as hard as you think it is... You could throw in Level 1 DARK monsters in the GY like Thousand-Eyes_Restrict summoned from Instant Fusion or easy to Summon Level 1 DARK like Jester_Confit and never have to worry about fueling your GY with DARK all that much.

Also the fact that you can get it out from the hand or the GY in the form of Quick Effect with no hard once per turn... Is pretty broken. Especially if this thing has immunity to monster effects. It is like everything Fairy_Tail_-_Snow would aspire to be.... And that is saying something. Considering how broken that thing is.

And then I looked at the search effect after reading Darj's post... And yeah there is no hard once per turn... Let alone a soft once per turn there either. Which means you can search indefinitely provided you have the resources. Which in short is broken.

In all it needs to be toned down in probably more ways than one.

Edited by BGMキャノン

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Indeed, you could make a mill-based deck and this would only require a couple of DARKs in the GY to be live, but the rest could be non-DARKs, increasing the number of different types in the GY to reach scary ATK numbers. Then, as long as you keep the low-Level DARKs coming, you can spam this. It would make a bit more of sense to me if it instead required a monster with a Level equal or higher than the # of DARKs in the GY.

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pretty much agree with with the others. way easy to summon, easy stat gain (like 4 types will grant you 2800 immune to monster effect turn 1, remember we still have Danger!), search effect is unnecessarily convoluted but also at its flip side it can still search large pool of cards multiple times given its a soft once per turn AND can also search another copy of its self which while being level 10 has not much to interact but the option available is pretty strong

arguably, if the original intent is to support "Dark Counterpart" series the " Exact Same Level" clause on search effect is backfired the deck building given the series diverse Levels

some suggestion:

Cannot be Normal Summoned or Set. Cannot be Special Summoned except by its own effect. While this card in your hand and all Monster you control and in your GY is DARK and has different type(s): You can Banish 2 or more non-Token DARK monster you control whose its total Level equal or higher than the number of DARK Monster in your GY; Special Summon this card. This card gain (~, as long its lower than your current ones) ATK for each type among DARK Monster in your GY. (same immunity effect, for now). You can Banish up to 3 DARK Monster from your field, hand, and/or GY, add 1 "Dark" Monster with different type but has Level equal or lower than the Banished Monster(s) from your Deck to your hand. You cannot Special Summon Monster with same category as that monster during the turn you use this effect except monster with different types. You can only use each effect of (this card name) once per turn.

"category" wording is probably the most experimental part of this suggestion but its exist with https://yugioh.fandom.com/wiki/Onomatopaira this should partially prevent archetypal "Dark" other than "Dark Counterpart" like Dark Magician and Darklords whose tend to have same traits like Typing

Edited by Jolly Glot

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6 hours ago, Darj said:

Not a fan of the card. It has a couple of red flags, starting with the translation differences of  "Dark" for a keyword, then the ability of milling a Dark monster from the ED to search for a non-Fiend or Machine Dark is oddly specific, convoluted and missing flavor since I don't get how, for example, would Cyberdarkness be associated with REDMD, and finally the lack of hard OPTs, which allows you to Summon her multiple times a turn, and get a search for each, at the expense of ED space. As if that wasn't enough, the condition of banishing a monster with Levels equal or lower than the # of DARKs in GY is odd, as it allows the use of Low-Level monsters to access her, and can turn them into beaters if your GY diversity is big enough.

In short, the card is convoluted, not only due to the translation issues on "Dark", also the effects are rather controversial. Even with a much needed hard OPT, I would still have second thoughts on the search effect.

Admittedly, some of this is me falling asleep behind the wheel and I had a copy with some of these issues already solved. I got a little too giddy to be back and was tired from work, never again I suppose. I don't have one with my art, so I will post an updated card art when I get back from today's shift, but basically, the revisions came down to:

- No QP SS

- Can only SS 1 a turn

- Only control 1

- The highest Level counterpart is 8, so it's 8 or lower, also Hard OPT on the search

90% of what I see comes down to these things, so I apologize for that big mishap there.

Edited by VampireofDarkness

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4 hours ago, VampireofDarkness said:

Admittedly, some of this is me falling asleep behind the wheel and I had a copy with some of these issues already solved. I got a little too giddy to be back and was tired from work, never again I suppose. I don't have one with my art, so I will post an updated card art when I get back from today's shift, but basically, the revisions came down to:

- No QP SS

- Can only SS 1 a turn

- Only control 1

- The highest Level counterpart is 8, so it's 8 or lower, also Hard OPT on the search

90% of what I see comes down to these things, so I apologize for that big mishap there.

Think nothing of it... We all make mistakes especially under the influence of excitement and/or fatigue (I can admit falling victim to this every once and awhile). We are here to simply help out... So no need to feel apologetic.

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11 minutes ago, BGMキャノン said:

Think nothing of it... We all make mistakes especially under the influence of excitement and/or fatigue (I can admit falling victim to this every once and awhile). We are here to simply help out... So no need to feel apologetic.

Appreciated, I sent this in a hurry as I edited it on my phone, I appreciate y'all though, reminded me to update this. Anyway, aside from name/translation issues, any other issues of note?

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2 minutes ago, VampireofDarkness said:

Appreciated, I sent this in a hurry as I edited it on my phone, I appreciate y'all though, reminded me to update this. Anyway, aside from name/translation issues, any other issues of note?

The last problems I see will essentially be based on your preference on how want to handle them. The Summoning condition needs to be reworked, and maybe the way how it gains ATK could be a little more exclusive than just different Typing (if you are going to keep that monster immunity effect)... For example:

  While this card is face-up on the field, it gains 700 ATK for each DARK monster with a different type in the GY, also it is unaffected by the effects of other monsters.

You don't have to use this example though.

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13 hours ago, BGMキャノン said:

The last problems I see will essentially be based on your preference on how want to handle them. The Summoning condition needs to be reworked, and maybe the way how it gains ATK could be a little more exclusive than just different Typing (if you are going to keep that monster immunity effect)... For example:

  While this card is face-up on the field, it gains 700 ATK for each DARK monster with a different type in the GY, also it is unaffected by the effects of other monsters.

You don't have to use this example though.

Actually, that is the example I used. The original take was actually based on the original effect before the version I posted initially, so I figured this would be the most sensible way based on the Decklist I had for the character in said fic. I also noticed that with every time I have written in Desponea, I always based it on having the exact number of DARK monsters, so I am going to change the requirement instead of equal or lower to be just equal. So if you have 3 DARKs, you need to banish a Level 3. This allows for some Graveyard control mechanics, which can be managed through the effects of the Dark Counterparts themselves and thus tying it all together into a coherent Deck. I will be updating it in just a minute alongside the art, I only just got back home from work off a 10 hour shift (Thankfully I am off tomorrow).

EDIT: Text and art are updated

Edited by VampireofDarkness

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