ALA: Ask Larry Anything

[Larry The Cucumber 21]

28 minutes ago, LordCowCow said:

You can't run from facing your own existence for long! Look within and you will find the answer.

I know I'm a cucumber! I literally call myself "Larry the Cucumber"! Do you mean whatever I do is a cucumber thing?

I guess then yes, I do normal cucumber things.

[yui 573]

technically not a question, but qwerty's input would be much appreciated

[Pepsi Man 7]

Question. You have no hands. So... how are you clapping? How can you hold a can of Pepsi?

 

[Larry The Cucumber 21]

12 hours ago, Yui said:

technically not a question, but qwerty's input would be much appreciated

This is quite the issue you've brought up! But first, here's the verse you were probably looking for in regards to the comic you've sent in:

Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable. (Leviticus 18:22 (NIV))

But.

This is sort of a huge "but" because it gets close to a pretty big schism in the Church (with a capital C, meaning all churches), because there are so, so many ways to interpret the Bible. To comfort and maybe ease getting into a weighty subject, I brought some stuffed bears with me. They're all named Theodore.

Spoiler

Anyway, thanks for coming to my Teddy talk.

If you start looking around, you'll start seeing terms like "Biblical Infallibility" or "Biblical Inerrancy" or "Sola Scriptura", among others. We don't have time to go into what all of these terms mean, but each of them is a very different way to interpret the Bible and one's own faith through it. So again, for the people who probably believe that, yes, the Bible is the Word of God in its entirety (ignoring awkward questions about the Apocrypha and how numerous theological debates had to happen to settle on what was even in the Bible in the first place), then yes, you could come to the conclusion that homosexuality (yes, including lesbianism, with apologies to your comic) is indeed wickedness.

Other interpretations find differently. These people note that the Bible, as an anthology of writings spanning over a millenia, is in itself occasionally contradictory. For example, Paul in his letter to the Romans, might decry sexual immorality in one section (Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. (Romans 1:26-27 (NIV))), yet in another passage in the same letter say "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." (Romans 12:10 (NIV) and "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." (Romans 12:18 (NIV)).

And there are so many other interpretations, one for each variation of Christianity. Some versions of Christianity even call themselves "non-denominational", like, what does that mean? And to make things even worse, none of them particularly like each other. There are churches in Israel and Palestine (I'm just a cucumber, don't ask me about the geopolitics of the region, please) that are actually divided into multiple areas, with some controlling some pretty symbolic spots in Christian history. The place where people believe Jesus was lain in a manger, for example, is technically controlled by one church, but the only way to get there is through an area controlled by one of the other churches. Guess how that turned out?

Or broom fighting on cleaning days. There's video of that, just because these different churches really don't get along.

 

But I'm getting off-topic. You asked me what my opinion was about the comic you posted. Or, well, you didn't ask me, but it's my AMA and it's my Teddy talk, so I'm going to tell you.

In one of the other questions you asked me, I mentioned that Jesus was a countercultural force. He challenged the Law that had been laid down hundreds of years before him. When he died, the barrier separating the holiest of holies from the rest of the temple was literally torn in two, a symbol of how Jesus had overcome the Law. Qwerty has a few verses for you, too:

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” 
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:5-6 (NIV))

And, as a follow up:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV))

We say this at the end of almost every episode of Veggietales, I say it at the end of every post with my signature down there: "God made you special, and He loves you very much." There's no addendum to that, like, we don't say "unless you're a dude who likes dudes or a girl who likes girls or someone who wants to be someone else or are any way affiliated with LGBTQ+ movements". And yeah, there are people on Veggietales staff who disagree with that, and our show might slip up in our messaging because of it. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to keep saying it, and that's what it means to me.

Sorry if this got a little off-topic there at the end, but I hope that helped!

1 minute ago, Pepsi Man said:

Question. You have no hands. So... how are you clapping? How can you hold a can of Pepsi?

Did I ever say I was clapping? Have I ever clapped? This isn't like, a gaslighting question or anything, I really don't know.

Clapping's pretty hard -- you ever wonder what the sound of one hand clapping is? Well, what's the sound of no hands clapping? -- but holding things is actually pretty easy to do as long as you don't think about it. It's like asking a centipede how they walk with a hundred legs. It's just something we do, and if we think about it too hard, we forget how we ever managed to do it in the first place. So yeah! If you offered me a can of Pepsi, I'd probably be able to grab it.

[MetalSonic 86]

Will you tell me a joke?

[Larry The Cucumber 21]

16 minutes ago, MetalSonic said:

Will you tell me a joke?

Sure! Seeing as it's Halloween season...

What's a Vampire's favorite fruit?

Spoiler

A Neck-tarine!

 

[LordCowCow 839]

I'm writing a fantasy story and atm one of the characters is waking up on a wagon full of vegetables

What vegetable should it be? Keeping in mind preference is one a farmer could conceivably ramble about a lot of odd facts.

[Larry The Cucumber 21]

3 hours ago, LordCowCow said:

I'm writing a fantasy story and atm one of the characters is waking up on a wagon full of vegetables

What vegetable should it be? Keeping in mind preference is one a farmer could conceivably ramble about a lot of odd facts.

Wow! What an interesting concept.

I would have to say the rutabaga, because not only is it fun to say (try it! Rutabaga rutabaga rutabaga), I can also give you three quick facts about it.

1) The word "rutabaga" is not the only name for this vegetable! If you're in Scotland, you'd call it a "neep" or a "snagger".
2) If you're celebrating Halloween and can't find any pumpkins, you can carve a face into your rutabaga instead! If you're celebrating Hop-tu-Naa, this is even to be expected!
3) If you're ever in Ithaca, New York in late December, you can participate in the International Rutabaga Curling Championship, which is, of course, exactly what it sounds like.

I hope this all helps! I'm sure there are even more cool facts about the rutabaga that I don't even know about!

[MetalSonic 86]

Hey Larry, I have a shot at a new job with a great company. Can you and Bob say a prayer for me?

[Larry The Cucumber 21]

3 hours ago, MetalSonic said:

Hey Larry, I have a shot at a new job with a great company. Can you and Bob say a prayer for me?

Sure! I have to admit, I was never super good at praying -- that's just one of the problems of people saying you don't have a soul -- but I can definitely try. It can't hurt, can it?

*Ahem*

OH, Saint James the Apostle, Patron of Laborers,
I ask you now for an intercession on behalf of my friend
    who I only know by the internet handle MetalSonic
    but love and respect all the same
I ask that you and our Father above you help and guide MetalSonic as they seek the job they desire
And bless them on any endeavors they embark on in the future
If they encounter obstacles, guide them through
And let them revel in their successes

In our Lord Jesus' name we pray,
Amen

I do want to stress that these are never guarantees. Prayer seldomly does things by itself. Having to do hard work to reach your goals is still going to be hard work, prayer or no prayer. But I hope you find it comforting that somebody is thinking good thoughts about you, and I really hope you get that job you're chasing.