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Corrupted & Condemnation, a seven deadly sins-inspired archetype!!

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Greetings. Today I decided to show you one of the archetypes used by a character in my YGO fanfic! I originally created this archetype around early Pendulum era, and just tuned them a bit to make them look more modern. Here we go!

Main Deck (4/4)

Spoiler

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If this card is Normal or Special Summoned, except by its own effect: You can add 1 Fiend "Corrupted" monster from your Deck or GY to your hand. If you control a DARK "Corrupted" monster: You can send 1 card from your hand to the GY, and if you do, Special Summon this card from your hand or GY. It becomes DARK Fiend while face-up on the field. You can only Special Summon "Mara the Corrupted Prayer(s)" once per turn.

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During your Main Phase: You can send this card from your hand to the GY, and if you do, add 1 "Condemnation" Spell/Trap from your Deck or GY to your hand. If this card is sent to the GY, except by its own effect: You can Special Summon it, but you cannot Special Summon monsters for the rest of this turn, except "Corrupted" monsters. You can only use each effect of "Tchort the Corrupted Wish" once per turn.

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If this card is Summoned: Destroy it, and if you do, inflict 600 damage to your opponent. (Quick Effect): You can send this card from your hand to the GY, then target 1 Fiend monster you control; it gains 1000 ATK/DEF until the end of this turn. If a "Corrupted" monster you control would be destroyed by battle or card effect, you can banish this card from your GY instead. You can only Special Summon "Corrupted Diligence - Acedia(s)" once per turn.

Lore

A monster based on Sloth. She is so lazy she would die if you send her to do the job.

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If this face-down monster is targeted for an attack or by a card effect: You can switch it to face-up Defense Position, and if you do, it cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects during this turn. During your Standby Phase: You can draw 1 card. If this card is sent to the GY by a card effect: You can Special Summon this card in face-up or face-down Defense Position. You can only use each effect of "Corrupted Charity - Avaritia" once per turn.

Lore

An embodiment of Greed. Literally greedy advantages everywhere.

Extra Deck (5/5)

Spoiler

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1 Tuner + 1+ non-Tuner Fiend monsters
If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate cards or effects until the end of the Damage Step, also if it attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage. Once per turn, when a card(s) is destroyed: Inflict 600 damage to your opponent. If this card leaves the field: You can Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower "Corrupted" monster from your GY.

Lore

Delivering her Wrath to the opponent!

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1 Tuner + 1+ non-Tuner Fiend monsters
Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can target 1 Spell/Trap on the field; change this card from Attack Position to Defense Position, and if you do, destroy that target. Once per turn, if your opponent activates a monster effect on the field: You can send the top card of your Deck to the GY; negate the activation, also change that monster to Defense Position.

Lore

You better pray she doesn't Envy you, or you won't be able to play anything good!

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2 Level 4 Fiend monsters
Cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects while it has a material. Each time your opponent Summons a monster(s) or activates a card effect while this card is in Attack Position, inflict 300 damage to your opponent and gain 300 LP. If you would take damage: You can detach 1 material from this card; gain LP by that amount instead, then this card gains 300 ATK and DEF.

Lore

An embodiment of Gluttony who loves to eat tasty LP!

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2 Level 4 Fiend monsters
Once per turn, during the Battle Phase, while this card has a material (Quick Effect): You can target 1 monster on the field; destroy it. If this card is attacked, or a card effect that targets this card is activated: You can detach 1 material from this card; negate that attack or effect, and if you do, this card gains 600 ATK.

Lore

They say every rose has its thorns, but this rose of Lust has more than that!

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1 non-Level 4 "Corrupted" monster + 1 "Corrupted" monster
While face-up on the field, this card is also DARK-Attribute. If this card is Fusion Summoned: Send all other cards on the field to the GY. While you control a "Corrupted" monster other than "Corrupted Humility - Superbia", this card is unaffected by your opponent's card effects, also you take no damage from battles involving other Fiend monsters you control.

Lore

The boss is here to annihilate. And with her Pride she won't care about your negations words.

Spell/Trap (3/3)

Spoiler

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Activate 1 of these effects. You can only activate 1 "Grimoire of Condemnation" per turn.
● Send 1 "Corrupted" monster from your Deck to the GY, and if you do, gain LP equal to its DEF.
● Fusion Summon 1 Fiend monster from your Extra Deck, using monsters from your hand or field as Fusion Materials.
If your opponent takes damage while you control a Fiend monster(s): You can banish this card from your GY; inflict 600 damage to your opponent.

CU7qhEn.jpg

Target 1 Level 4 or lower Fiend monsters in your GY; Special Summon it. Then, negate the effects of all monsters on the field that were Special Summoned from the GY. During your Standby Phase: You can banish this card from your GY, then target 1 monster your opponent controls; send 1 Fiend monster from your hand or field to the GY, and if you do, take control of that target. It becomes Fiend, also it cannot attack directly. During the End Phase: Send that monster to the GY. You can only use 1 "Rite of Condemnation" effect per turn, and only once that turn.

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Target 1 Fiend monster you control; destroy it and 1 card your opponent controls, then inflict 600 damage to your opponent. You can only use each of the following effects of "Condemnation Impulse" once per turn. If this card is sent from the hand or field to the GY: You can send 1 "Corrupted" monster from your Deck to the GY. If a Fiend monster you control battles: You can banish this card from your GY; it gains 600 ATK during that damage calculation only. Also, if it is a "Corrupted" monster, it gains 600 ATK.

 

Edited by JPAlpha
Changes were made thanks to Darj's review!

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Mara:
A problem with the text. First effect states it won't apply when Summoned by its own effect, but the way you wrote the self-summoning effect, it works as more of a summoning condition or inherent Summon (e.g. Cyber Dragon) instead of a proper effect. In other words it's not Summoning itself by an effect. Thus, it will be unaffected by the restriction on the first effect. That's easy to fix, though, you just have to re-write it as an actual effect. I suggest:
If you control a DARK "Corrupted" monster: You can send 1 card from your hand to the GY, and if you do, Special Summon this card from your hand or GY, and if you do that, this card becomes DARK Fiend while face-up on the field.
Although now I have a question: is it intended to be able to discard itself to Summon itself? If not, then you have to add other conditions like "send 1 other card from your hand to the GY".
Other than that, card looks solid to me.

Tchort:
Similar to Mara, it has a problem with the text. The 2nd effect says it won't activate if the card is sent to the GY by its own effect, but the way you wrote the 1st effect, sending itself from hand to GY is a cost instead of an effect, and thus bypasses the restriction of the 2nd effect anyway. Likewise, this is easy to fix, just re-write it so the discard becomes part of the effect:

During your Main Phase: You can send this card from your hand to the GY, and if you do, add 1 "Condemnation" Spell/Trap from your Deck or GY to your hand.
That aside, looks fine to me.

Both Mara and Tchort provide searching and summoning power, but I don't see them breaking anything yet. I do find odd that Mara and Tchort have a different naming pattern that the rest of the archetype monsters, but that's not an issue, more of an aesthetic mismatch.

Acedia:
Dunno why, but I like this one. It can burn, provide a quick effect boost akin to Honest, Kalut, etc. and provides defense to the archetype, all in one. Normally I would think it does too much, but in this case I find it fine and I do like how the first 2 effects sinergize with the protection by assisting with getting itself in the GY. Plus the stat boost works on any Fiend so it has splashabiity potential, and I find amusing when cards have splashable traits.

Avaritia:
Solid support. The field effect is on the slow side but the self-protection effect should be effective at keeping it on board and reducing battle damage, or at least soak non-destructive removal the opponent spends on it. Or you can always mill it and SS it for quick fodder for a Summon akin to Trick Clown, Wulf, Felis, etc. I would have expected a card like this to have 2100 DEF or so, but then maybe that's a bit too much considering its self-Summon effect.

Ira:
A damage dealer. Armades and piecing effect in one in a 2800-ATK body with a burning effect, and the float is a nice insurance effect. Not much to say, I see players going for this when aiming for game but otherwise other options with removal and/or negation effects should have priority. Doesn't help that there are other generic and semi-generic options in the Synchro 8 pool that ought to be more appealing, unless you are locked into SSing Corrupted monsters only. It's rare to see a poli-Attribute archetype give to their WATER the beater role though, but that's not a bad thing xD

Invidia:
Now this has disruption written all over it. This one is IMO too scary though, and arguably OPed: not only it can disrupt both Spell/Traps and monsters, also it lacks "Once per turn" clauses on the monster stun effect so as long as you have cards to discard, your opponent won't be able to activate the effects of any monsters on the its field AND it will have its monsters Set so not even a chance for Synchro, Xyz or Link summoning. It would be more bearable and even acceptable if both effects had a "hard OPT" clause.

Gula:
Doesn't look so good, It's too passive, and seems it's intended to discourage the opponent from attacking, but it won't disrupt them in any way so they can still go for their combos and set-up a way to remove it before even entering the BP. I guess you can go for this in a pinch late-game, when you are low in LP and both players are low in resources, but even then, you would be just stalling and crossing fingers your opponent doesn't have anything to remove while you invest 2 monsters on this.

Luxuria:
An option to remove monsters by effect. Ought to be useful for breaking boards even if nowadays relying on the BP is on the slow or impractical side. The formats are rather fast and most of the removal is done in the MPs, except for an sporadic Mirror Force variant tech. And of course Evenly Matched but that is on its own level of removal power. Still, removal in BPs is still good to pick on the opponent. And to be fair, it does have protection from targeting and attacks so it makes it more likely to survive some BPs.

Superbia:
Normally, Fusion monsters don't have wording like "...including a..." in their list of materials, and so far that's only seen in Link monsters. AFAIK this would be more appropriate for a Fusion:
1 "Corrupted" monsters + 1 non-Level 4 "Corrupted" monster
Fix aside, damn this card has so many things: board clearing, 3000-ATK beater, built-in effect protection albeit conditional, and protection from attacks for fellow Corrupted monsters. It's such a role compression that it almost looks unfair. It's held back by being a Fusion, which means it needs a Fusioning card or effect to be Summoned. But if they have an archetype Fusion Spell, then it may be a bit too much.

Grimoire:
And here is the Fusion Spell. Which also doubles as an archetype Foolish Burial. I like this type of design, personally: if you can't or do not want to fuse, the card remains live with the milling effect. And these Corrupted do benefit from being milled so it's a win. The burn effect is icing of cake and rather unneeded, but I don't see any issues with it having it.

Rite:
Not a fan of this one. It's just an archetype Monster Reborn x2. It's IMO both bland and cheap. At least spice it up and not make it have basically the same effect twice. Think of Trickstar Reincarnation, for example.

Impulse:
Looks fine. Reminds me of Icarus Attack, Offerings of Snake Deity, Fish Depth Charge and other chainable Traps that are a 2-for-2 trade, expect that instead of destroying 2 cards or netting a card draw, this gives an archetype mill, which still translates into advantage depending on what you mill. I like the alternate option of an ATK boost to save a key monster on board.


Overall these look solid. The maindeck monsters provide enough swarming power IMO and some come with effects that generate card advantage and thus resources to work with. Invidia and Lxuria provide good board control, and the former is among the best cards I have seen to open with. And Superbia... well, it's practically the win condition. IMO the weakest one is Gula, and to a lesser extent Ira because its only job is beating and finishing games, but coincidentally these 2 are the only ED monsters with floating effects so... that kind of compensates their weaker nature I guess? IDK. Grimoire is really good as an archetype Foolish Burial with the option of dropping Superbia if it's safe and you have the requirements, while Impulse provides further disruption to combine with Invidia and Luxuria, and being searchable a big plus, as demonstrated by Salamangreat Rage and Infernity Break. Rite is also good but, again, rather boring.

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7 hours ago, Darj said:

Mara:
A problem with the text. First effect states it won't apply when Summoned by its own effect, but the way you wrote the self-summoning effect, it works as more of a summoning condition or inherent Summon (e.g. Cyber Dragon) instead of a proper effect. In other words it's not Summoning itself by an effect. Thus, it will be unaffected by the restriction on the first effect. That's easy to fix, though, you just have to re-write it as an actual effect. I suggest:
If you control a DARK "Corrupted" monster: You can send 1 card from your hand to the GY, and if you do, Special Summon this card from your hand or GY, and if you do that, this card becomes DARK Fiend while face-up on the field.
Although now I have a question: is it intended to be able to discard itself to Summon itself? If not, then you have to add other conditions like "send 1 other card from your hand to the GY".
Other than that, card looks solid to me.

Tchort:
Similar to Mara, it has a problem with the text. The 2nd effect says it won't activate if the card is sent to the GY by its own effect, but the way you wrote the 1st effect, sending itself from hand to GY is a cost instead of an effect, and thus bypasses the restriction of the 2nd effect anyway. Likewise, this is easy to fix, just re-write it so the discard becomes part of the effect:

During your Main Phase: You can send this card from your hand to the GY, and if you do, add 1 "Condemnation" Spell/Trap from your Deck or GY to your hand.
That aside, looks fine to me.

Both Mara and Tchort provide searching and summoning power, but I don't see them breaking anything yet. I do find odd that Mara and Tchort have a different naming pattern that the rest of the archetype monsters, but that's not an issue, more of an aesthetic mismatch.

Acedia:
Dunno why, but I like this one. It can burn, provide a quick effect boost akin to Honest, Kalut, etc. and provides defense to the archetype, all in one. Normally I would think it does too much, but in this case I find it fine and I do like how the first 2 effects sinergize with the protection by assisting with getting itself in the GY. Plus the stat boost works on any Fiend so it has splashabiity potential, and I find amusing when cards have splashable traits.

Avaritia:
Solid support. The field effect is on the slow side but the self-protection effect should be effective at keeping it on board and reducing battle damage, or at least soak non-destructive removal the opponent spends on it. Or you can always mill it and SS it for quick fodder for a Summon akin to Trick Clown, Wulf, Felis, etc. I would have expected a card like this to have 2100 DEF or so, but then maybe that's a bit too much considering its self-Summon effect.

Ira:
A damage dealer. Armades and piecing effect in one in a 2800-ATK body with a burning effect, and the float is a nice insurance effect. Not much to say, I see players going for this when aiming for game but otherwise other options with removal and/or negation effects should have priority. Doesn't help that there are other generic and semi-generic options in the Synchro 8 pool that ought to be more appealing, unless you are locked into SSing Corrupted monsters only. It's rare to see a poli-Attribute archetype give to their WATER the beater role though, but that's not a bad thing xD

Invidia:
Now this has disruption written all over it. This one is IMO too scary though, and arguably OPed: not only it can disrupt both Spell/Traps and monsters, also it lacks "Once per turn" clauses on the monster stun effect so as long as you have cards to discard, your opponent won't be able to activate the effects of any monsters on the its field AND it will have its monsters Set so not even a chance for Synchro, Xyz or Link summoning. It would be more bearable and even acceptable if both effects had a "hard OPT" clause.

Gula:
Doesn't look so good, It's too passive, and seems it's intended to discourage the opponent from attacking, but it won't disrupt them in any way so they can still go for their combos and set-up a way to remove it before even entering the BP. I guess you can go for this in a pinch late-game, when you are low in LP and both players are low in resources, but even then, you would be just stalling and crossing fingers your opponent doesn't have anything to remove while you invest 2 monsters on this.

Luxuria:
An option to remove monsters by effect. Ought to be useful for breaking boards even if nowadays relying on the BP is on the slow or impractical side. The formats are rather fast and most of the removal is done in the MPs, except for an sporadic Mirror Force variant tech. And of course Evenly Matched but that is on its own level of removal power. Still, removal in BPs is still good to pick on the opponent. And to be fair, it does have protection from targeting and attacks so it makes it more likely to survive some BPs.

Superbia:
Normally, Fusion monsters don't have wording like "...including a..." in their list of materials, and so far that's only seen in Link monsters. AFAIK this would be more appropriate for a Fusion:
1 "Corrupted" monsters + 1 non-Level 4 "Corrupted" monster
Fix aside, damn this card has so many things: board clearing, 3000-ATK beater, built-in effect protection albeit conditional, and protection from attacks for fellow Corrupted monsters. It's such a role compression that it almost looks unfair. It's held back by being a Fusion, which means it needs a Fusioning card or effect to be Summoned. But if they have an archetype Fusion Spell, then it may be a bit too much.

Grimoire:
And here is the Fusion Spell. Which also doubles as an archetype Foolish Burial. I like this type of design, personally: if you can't or do not want to fuse, the card remains live with the milling effect. And these Corrupted do benefit from being milled so it's a win. The burn effect is icing of cake and rather unneeded, but I don't see any issues with it having it.

Rite:
Not a fan of this one. It's just an archetype Monster Reborn x2. It's IMO both bland and cheap. At least spice it up and not make it have basically the same effect twice. Think of Trickstar Reincarnation, for example.

Impulse:
Looks fine. Reminds me of Icarus Attack, Offerings of Snake Deity, Fish Depth Charge and other chainable Traps that are a 2-for-2 trade, expect that instead of destroying 2 cards or netting a card draw, this gives an archetype mill, which still translates into advantage depending on what you mill. I like the alternate option of an ATK boost to save a key monster on board.


Overall these look solid. The maindeck monsters provide enough swarming power IMO and some come with effects that generate card advantage and thus resources to work with. Invidia and Lxuria provide good board control, and the former is among the best cards I have seen to open with. And Superbia... well, it's practically the win condition. IMO the weakest one is Gula, and to a lesser extent Ira because its only job is beating and finishing games, but coincidentally these 2 are the only ED monsters with floating effects so... that kind of compensates their weaker nature I guess? IDK. Grimoire is really good as an archetype Foolish Burial with the option of dropping Superbia if it's safe and you have the requirements, while Impulse provides further disruption to combine with Invidia and Luxuria, and being searchable a big plus, as demonstrated by Salamangreat Rage and Infernity Break. Rite is also good but, again, rather boring.

Thanks for this well written review! Since I’m at my hometown today and there’re so many things to do I’ll probably edit or revamp some cards based on your feedback tonight.

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@Darj And the fix is done! Thanks again for your detailed feedback.

- Changed Mara, Tchort, and Superbia's wording as you suggested

- First I changed the only card you gave a clear criticize, Rite of Condemnation. Out of 4-5 times I used it in my fic, that 2nd effect was used only once and more like something I added in last second, so I actually enjoy revamping it into an entirely different effect that still fits the card's name and aesthetic.

- Regarding Invidia I made her current effects with modern Link Spam in mind, though now that I looked at it again said combo shouldn't be completely locked down by just a single card, so I made a change to her negation. Now it has a soft OPT and no longer BoM the opponent's monster, and to not make it underwhelming I changed the discard cost to something more beneficial.

- Gula also underwent a huge revamp. This version poses more threat to your opponent while giving them more chance to interact and combo better with the new Superbia.

- And by the new Superbia, a small change was made so that instead of not allowing an attack at all, it let the opponent attack your monsters for no battle damage. While also serve as a taunt to Superbia like the old version, it allow your opponent to remove Superbia's protection easier.

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I like the changes. Invidia is still strong by being one of the few monsters, if not the only one, that can disrupt both monsters and Spell/Traps each OPT. But should still be fine as an incentive/reward for playing this archetype.

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