Nightmare Denizens

[LordCowCow 839]

So, to start I should mention I don't actually play the game much and haven't in a long time. These were made for an RP so it was more meant for narrative rather than actual competitive purposes. I have no idea how good/bad they are but I figured I'd post them anyway.

The rituals are written and the monsters are pictured. Was going to make more than 3 Monsters but then I didn't. Also these were made a while ago.

Anyway enough excuses here we go.

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Ritual Spells

Spoiler

Nightmare: Endless Night
Ritual Spell
This card can be used to Ritual Summon any "Nightmare Denizen" Ritual Monster from your hand or GY. You must also Tribute monsters from your hand or field whose total Levels equal or exceed the Level of the Ritual Monster you Ritual Summon.

Nightmare: Shared Insanity
Ritual Spell
This card can be used to Ritual Summon any "Nightmare Denizen" Ritual Monster. You must also Tribute monsters from your hand or either field whose total Levels equal or exceed the Level of the Ritual Monster you Ritual Summon.

Cow note: Debated making it have to be just from opponent field, or limit the number it can be, or something like that to make it nerfed a bit but dunno

Monsters

Spoiler

Nightmare Denizen: Shattered Doll
Dark/Zombie/Ritual/Effect
Level 5

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Must be Ritual Summoned by a “Nightmare" Ritual Spell.
- When your opponent activates a Spell/Trap Card (Quick Effect): You can discard this card; negate that card's activation, and if you do, destroy it.
- Once per turn, when your opponent activates a Spell/Trap Card (Quick Effect): You can discard 1 card; negate that card's activation, and if you do, destroy it.
-If this card would be sent from the field to the GY, banish it instead.

ATK: 2000 DEF: 0

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Nightmare Denizen: Boogeyman
Dark/Zombie/Ritual/Effect
Level 7

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Must be Ritual Summoned by a “Nightmare" Ritual Spell.
- When an opponent's monster declares an attack: You can discard this card; negate that attack, and if you do, change that monster to Defense Position.
- If this card declares an attack: You can change 1 monster your opponent controls to Defense Position.
- If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, it deals piercing battle damage.
- If this card would be sent from the field to the GY, banish it instead.

ATK: 2300 Def: 0

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Nightmare Denizen: Insanity Beast
Dark/Zombie/Ritual/Effect
Level 9

Cannot be Normal Summoned/Set. Must be Ritual Summoned by a “Nightmare" Ritual Spell.
- When your opponent activates a monster effect (Quick Effect): You can discard this card; negate that card's activation, and if you do, destroy it.
- If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate cards or effects until the end of the Damage Step.
- If this card inflicts battle damage to your opponent: Your opponent must discard 1 card.
- If this card would be sent from the field to the GY, banish it instead.

ATK: 2800 Def: 0

Be gentle

[Sleepy 211]

My suggestions are the following... Reasoning and design notes in red under each:

- - - - -

Nightmare: Shared Insanity
Ritual Spell
This card is used to Ritual Summon any "Nightmare Denizen" Ritual Monster. You must also Tribute monsters from your hand or field, and/or up to 1 monster your opponent controls, whose total Level equals or exceeds the Ritual Monster's.

Technically it cannot touch face-down monsters, or Xyz Monsters, or Link Monsters, but since it says "equals or exceeds" in the effect it can go overboard and eat up all Level-holding monsters in one go. Now I wouldn't suggest changing it to exact Level requirements as that'd pretty much kill its usefulness against like 90% of opponents. It also lacks a hard OPT clause but when it can be nuke in a single use it doesn't really matter xD
My suggestion here is to just be able to take 1 opponent's monster per use, and from there whatever else you are able to cycle within the same turn with all the Ritual support out there is on you. All those Herald floating effects and Preparation of Rites and whatnot xP

- - - - -

Nightmare Denizen: Shattered Doll
DARK Level 5 [ Zombie / Ritual / Effect ] 2000/0
Can be Ritual Summoned with a "Nightmare" Ritual Spell. If you control no cards OR control a Zombie Ritual Monster, and your opponent activates a Spell/Trap (Quick Effect): You can discard this card; negate that card's activation, and if you do, destroy it. Once per turn, if your opponent activates a Spell/Trap (Quick Effect): You can discard 1 card; negate that card's activation, and if you do, destroy it.

-I don't think the self-banishing drawback at the end is needed at all. Well, unless you want it to combo with something that wants them banished that is... Otherwise they are fine.
-The hand-trap effect (self-discard) is too generic and live all the time, so my suggested change is that you can use it when your field is empty (so after a nuke or from your opening hand turn 1) OR by using this theme you have going on (as opposed to in every deck in existence because of how good any S/T negation +0 out of the blue is).
-The  negation effect on-field has another change I did not put in my rewrite of the card because to be honest there are a few options I'd like to suggest.
1 ) You could keep it once per turn, but without needing the discard.
2 ) You could keep the discard requirement but then it'd be fine if you wanted to just burn your hand on it
3 ) aaaaand a little drawback that can be used regardless of which of the above 2 you'd go for, and that also could potentially ease your mind regarding me suggesting the self-banish effect to get axed: 
        Once per turn, if your opponent activates a Spell/Trap while you control this Ritual Summoned  card (Quick Effect):  . . .

- - - - -

Nightmare Denizen: Boogeyman
DARK Level 7 [ Zombie / Ritual / Effect ] 2300/0
Can be Ritual Summoned with a "Nightmare" Ritual Spell. If your opponent's monster declares an attack: You can discard this card; negate the attack, and if you do, you can change that monster to Defense Position. If this card declares an attack: You can change 1 monster your opponent controls to Defense Position. If it attacks a Defense Position monster, it inflicts piercing battle damage.

Part of the rewrite is that if you change the position-changing part of the self-discard effect to "you can" I'd be 100% sure you can still negate the attack of Link Monsters, otherwise I don't really know if the game allows them as legal targets knowing beforehand they won't be able to get the full effect.
My rewrite otherwise just deletes the self-banish effect at the end. Although I'm inclined to suggest a boost for the on-field effect. Something along the lines of:
While you control this Ritual Summoned card, it gains 500 ATK, and can attack all Defense Position monsters your opponent controls in the same Battle Phase.
or
If it was Summoned by the effect of a "Nightmare" Ritual Spell, it inflicts double piercing battle damage instead. Also, it gains 500 ATK.
Stuff like that xD
You say you don't have a ton of  experience with the IRL game so just in case and for the record : Yes double piercing is a thing (Chaos MAX Dragon, Metalfoes Orichalc, and I forgot what other cards had that) xP 

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Nightmare Denizen: Insanity Beast
DARK Level 9 [ Zombie / Ritual / Effect ] 2800/0
Can be Ritual Summoned with a "Nightmare" Ritual Spell. If you control no cards OR control a Zombie Ritual Monster, and your opponent activates a monster effect (Quick Effect): You can discard this card; negate the activation, and if you do, destroy it. If this card attacks, your opponent cannot activate cards/effects until the end of the Damage Step. If this card inflicts battle damage to your opponent: Your opponent discards 1 random card.

Same extra requirement as the first Ritual because well...... IRL we got Effect Veiler still being used fairly well (negates monster effects only during your opponent's Main Phase, and doesn't destroy the card or anything). Then we got "Infinite Impermanence" that needs an empty field on you to be live from hand, but is not tied to a single player's Main Phase and if used from field it also negates an extra card in a column... and still doesn't do removal. Your card is probably a better (more flexible) version of those so some condition was in order I think.... Still, if used in conjunction with the rest of this archetype, the "condition" might as well be free.
The discard I made into a random one because otherwise your opponent will choose their most convenient discard. Be it anything that triggers like Shaddolls or Dark Worlds, or setup for their next plays.
The "unstoppable attack" bit is good. We already see something like that in "Utopia the Lightning" and some of the last Ancient Gear monsters we ever got. I think its fine as is. Especially because it seems it only works when you are the one attacking which is actually weaker. Unlike something like "Meteorburst Dragon" that flat out says "Your opponent cannot activate monster effects in the Battle Phase". . . . hmm come to think of it, you could change "if this card attacks" for "if this card battles" and still be fine IMO.

- - - - -

All in all it looks like a pretty solid concept. For a moment it reminded me of Nekroz, and in fact, you could probably afford to give your Ritual Spells some sort of clause that lets them cycle each other like the Nekroz Ritual Spells do (btw, did not address your first Ritual Spell because I think it is fine as is. Did not forget about it xP )

 

[LordCowCow 839]

Oh god I see why people struggle to respond to these this is a lot I'm scared

@Sleepy

Just for some clarification/questions gonna try and keep response brief but...

Shared Insanity
Yeah I didn't even think about that; limiting it to one of their monsters makes sense. I'm not sure I follow the rest but that might be because of my subpar card knowledge

Doll
the self-banish was mostly flavor (once you face your fears they go away) tbh. Though I also worried about continuously bringing them back from the other ritual
I feel dumb for not quite getting this bit lol. But are you saying it's safe to only have one of the OPT OR the discard when on field?
Does "if you control no cards" mean spells and traps too?

Boogeyman
I don't get Links very well so thanks for looking out on that front. I'm kinda surprised that some of the suggestions are just buffs lol. Wow double piercing, ygo you wild.
Still unsure about the banish cause of the flavor earlier.

Beast
Yeah I was worried it was a bit too easy to do something pretty big. Making a condition makes sense (same question as for Doll)

I'm kinda surprised to find I did alright. Thanks for the review! I'll think more on it when I got time (and will see what you say to the parts I'm unsure on)

[Sleepy 211]

Ah, don't be scared xD 
I make the claim that everything here is merely suggestions and I won't get pushy about if you want to take any or not, and it is completely cool regardless.
It also probably got lost in all my rambling but I liked the archetype. I think this is good, and I gotta say it is probably better to be too careful than too reckless and your cards are on the careful side for the most part [thumbs up]. 

Trying to elaborate a bit on the things I meant:
-Xyz Monsters are the black cards with black stars in them. Since their stars are called "Ranks" instead of "Levels" they are impossible to Tribute for a Ritual Summon that needs to fill in a quota of Levels.
-Link Monsters are the other blue card templates in the game, and have absolutely no stars of any kind to speak of, nor do they have DEF stats making them impossible to affect with any position changing effects or anything that'd flip them face-down at all. On top of being non-compatible with Level-based mechanics like Rituals or Synchros....

Some of the effects I've seen (links upcoming):
-Herald of the Arc Light-
Ignoring everything else, the last effects says it searches for a Ritual (monster or Spell) from your Deck when sent to the GY, and it works even if sent there directly from your Extra Deck, which nowadays there's a number of ways of doing just that.
-Preparation of Rites-
This recovers your Ritual Spell and searches either one of your first 2 Rituals, all in an easy +1 Normal Spell.

errr yes, "control no cards" includes Spells/Traps as well.
Aaaaand if the banish part is because of flavor, then I think I should rework my suggestions, because I do like it when flavor plays a roll into card design, it'd be better to think of a work-around that keeps that. Even if it strives away from the easiest way to balance them for me, I think it is important that they keep their soul and sometimes it leads to more interesting workarounds... hmmm I have nothing off the top of my head but we'll see xD

and yes, double pierce heh. Here's the most notorious card that has it:
-Blue Eyes Chaos MAX Dragon-

 

[LordCowCow 839]

20 minutes ago, Sleepy said:

errr yes, "control no cards" includes Spells/Traps as well.
Aaaaand if the banish part is because of flavor, then I think I should rework my suggestions, because I do like it when flavor plays a roll into card design, it'd be better to think of a work-around that keeps that. Even if it strives away from the easiest way to balance them for me, I think it is important that they keep their soul and sometimes it leads to more interesting workarounds... hmmm I have nothing off the top of my head but we'll see xD

When I was thinking about it my thought process went sort of like this
I was thinking of the deck and hand as the player's "mind" and if you just toss away your fears/nightmares they still linger and can return (Which is why discarding would send just to graveyard)
But if you confront and examine them (playing them to the field) then they can truly be "banished".

Also the control no cards seems like a pretty tough condition; are those effects strong enough to warrant that? Or am I just overestimating the condition? I guess that if you have a zombie ritual out makes it work too kinda makes it not so bad though idk how easy it is in the game to get and keep them out.

Also I probably will wait on directly changing them in the OP until there's more if only cause that's a bit of work and I feel lazy lol