The "Get it off your chest" thread

[LordCowCow 839]

Is something bothering you that you want to talk about but don't feel comfortable doing so without being asked?

This is the thread to do it.

Note don't use this thread to attack other members or complain about people on the site. And there won't be any tolerance for responding to someone's post negatively here. Such as telling them they shouldn't complain or arguing with them. If you do it'll be deleted and/or warnings given depending on frequency and severity.

This also isn't a place for discussing politics so no posting here just to "dunk on" a political party or group. Again, will be deleted and/or warnings given.

If there's something else that toes the line I will mention it to the person, if you're worried a post might be a problem feel free to report, but don't argue with them in the thread.

Don't try and find "loopholes" this isn't a be all end all rule set if something seems like an issue that isn't specifically what I said above it'll be addressed.

Also any issues with the site go to the comments and inquiries forum.

[Blake 312]

I spent the last two weeks going through absolute hell. For the first week, I tried to make excuses. Say it was okay. There were circumstances. It would not get worse.

But ooooh boy did it get fucking worse. And worse. And worse. Until it all came to a crashing, burning head. I'm now poorer than I would have been had I stayed, by a good chunk, and I have a deep pit of dread in my stomach. And overall, I'm just glad to be home.

Cow and a few others can attest that I have... PAGES of things I could say, but I don't want to list all of them right now. I don't have the energy. But making the choice to let go instead of forcing something to work is difficult.

[Comrade Duck 178]

I totaled my car last Tuesday. I'm still traumatized by the accident but I'm desperately trying to cope with it and not show it. To be completely honest, I still wish I had died in the accident so that I wouldn't feel so fucking helpless like I do now. I keep telling myself this shit is gonna pass but I already had enough trauma on my fucking mental and now I've added to it. I'm exhausted, going broke, angry, and depressed. And I don't want to feel any of that.

[Chaos Sonic 442]

Been feeling more and more tired...and my job is the source of it, I can guarantee that. Allow me to explain...

My security guard job is separated into three different shifts:

• 1st Shift - 12am to 8am
• 2nd Shift - 8am to 4pm
• 3rd Shift - 4pm to 12am

I'm in the 3rd shift slot, so my hours are 4pm to 12am. 3rd shift is the one who gets the shitty end of the stick to an extent...sure, my shift is full of people who are constantly on time and actually does their job, but we're the outliers. Between graveyard and morning shifts, there are constantly people who call out...and since we on 3rd shift are already there, we have to stay and pull a 16hr shift. I've done that quite a bit against my better judgment, and it's not because I want to...believe me. I need the money, so any hours count...the problem is that I need to learn to just say no, but in comes the next problem on this list.

This security job now has three slots open that they need to fill...two for graveyard and one for morning...again, we on 3rd shift do our jobs and we're all here. The positions need to be filled and by people who actually want to do the job. Yes, it's not a comfy stare at computer screens job...yes, we have to go out in the elements (except if it's lightning outside) and check the fuels, temperatures and seals on the trailers every two hours (four of these roves in total)...yes, we have to do work at a job. What's making me both tired and even pissed off to no ends, is that we hire probably one individual and they work out for like...a week or two...and then quit because it isn't what they thought it would be. They end up wasting the employee's time and even the employer's time AND money...cause let me tell you, the State class to become qualified for a security guard ain't cheap in the slightest and the company pays it.

So with that, I'm in the position of covering for people and working wonky hours until we can finally get a full roster of guards to the point where I can work my 4 to 12 and get my three days off in order to rest.

Honestly, some days I'm wondering how I'm even functioning. No, I'm not dealing with a depression in this, but I feel like I'm in an uphill battle doing jack shit except bending over backwards for people just to make sure I have a job and am able to make some money for myself. In the process, I'm practically killing myself and being pretty exhausted to the point where I don't want to do anything. And you all know how I am...I want to laugh and have fun on NCM and Discord like I used to...not the "like I used to" portion of that where I had no job...never that...but where I'm not so dead dog tired anymore. I want to be able to do things on my days off without the fear of being called in because someone had a wild hair and called in...I just...want things to get into a groove where things can actually be normal for me again.

[(o ×) 228]

On 5/11/2021 at 3:25 PM, Comrade Duck said:

I totaled my car last Tuesday. I'm still traumatized by the accident but I'm desperately trying to cope with it and not show it. To be completely honest, I still wish I had died in the accident so that I wouldn't feel so fucking helpless like I do now. I keep telling myself this shit is gonna pass but I already had enough trauma on my fucking mental and now I've added to it. I'm exhausted, going broke, angry, and depressed. And I don't want to feel any of that.

PTSD is an awful thing. If you ever want to talk about it, let me know okay? You have me on discord.

 

Also uhhhhh I got rejected for a job because I didn't ask enough questions in the interview. The day after talking to the boss for an hour over the phone clearing up everything I didn't already know about a job that I was already extremely familiar with. Gonna try contesting this in the morning, because it is a good job and boy do I need it, but for now I am still just pissed.

[Doggo 218]

Said goodbye to my cat Cinder today. She was ten years old. It was only early last week she went from her usual self to barely eating and lying around all day. A vet visit last Tuesday and we thought it was just an infection and she'd get over it. But they wanted to do some scans to be sure that's all it was. Last Thursday an ultrasound confirmed it was instead a large tumor in her liver that was pressing up against her stomach.

We had some medicine to help her out but it all hinged on her eating which she lost all interest in. We watched her closely from that diagnosis to this morning and she was just getting worse. She was boney and her breathing even started seeming labored today. Another vet visit earlier today and it was quick to confirm there was no hope of her perking back up, she was just going to suffer until she died on her own.

I tried several things to try and get her to eat, read about a lot more, and ultimately force fed her pureed tuna in some hope she'd get stronger but it didn't matter. Cancer still came and stole her away. Covid restrictions aren't fully lifted here so only one person was able to be with her as she passed. My dad did it since he was closest to her but there's still an empty feeling that I wasn't there.

There's a feeling I failed her somehow. Didn't notice her slowing down sooner or didn't try enough things to get her to eat. But cats don't show signs until they're too far gone and nothing I could have tried was going to turn this around.

She's not hurting now that she's gone and that's for the best, but the family's still a mess over it. You really don't know how much you love something until it's taken from you. I wanted to see her get old and spoil her rotten on her last day when she was fifteen or something. Instead I had to watch her waste away and put her down before she suffered overly long.

Fuck cancer, I want my cat back.

[(o ×) 228]

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I remember vividly losing my own cat, and that was like five years ago now.

You didn't let her down. She was lucky to have you, just as lucky as you were to have her.

[Kazooie 167]

my nerves has been killing me lately.

i'm finally, actually doing some writing again, that's great, i finished a one-shot story in a day, roughly 10k words. it was nice to get something done. then i close it and go about my day.

then i start thinking about how anxious i am about the quality, i do some editing. i'm just not happy with it. despite being happy at first. i find things to nitpick, to get upset about.

the entire reason i finished it one day, though i didn't wanna admit it at the time, is that i think i would've deleted it halfway through if i didn't. now that it's finished, i still have that urge to delete it, to make sure others don't see it, cause i don't think it's worth putting out there.

and here I am, rambling about it, cause i feel like if I hold it in anymore I'll explode. it's really starting to grate on me and my nerves are more shot than usual, even though i've been productive, it feels like i made no progress.

Edited June 4, 2021 by Kazooie