Mr Spaz

Day 1 vs Day 497 of this image being screenshotted and posted on Facebook to see how much Facebook's compression would ruin it

Birds

The word "moist"

I just finished playing one of the SCARIEST video games ever. Now, hear me out before saying, "Oh, he's probably just a fag that gets scared of everything." I don't get scared of video games or movies. I've played many survival horror games and have seen many horror movies in my day. The only thing that made me just a tiny bit scared were some parts of Penumbra and Condemned. Amnesia was pretty good. Everything else was just boring. This game was different. VERY different. You aren't given any sort of backstory to the game at all. As soon as you press play, it throws you right into the game. However, I was able to piece together what the story basically is through finally beating this little brick shitter. Apparently, you're a madman. We're never given the name, but you can guess what it is if you pay attention to the title screen. For some reason, you escaped from whatever mental hospital room you were hiding in. Now, the very horrid state of your mind has transformed the halls of the hospital into nothing but a pitch black maze with the only light being the walls, which glow a deathly blue. Your character is apparently some type of mad cannibal that you can barely control. You can force him to turn corners in the creepy hallway, but not much else can be done. Your character seems to grab anything and try to eat it; whatever is in front of him is thrown into his mouth and he munches it down. While playing the game, you're being chased by four hideous and fucking scary ghost monsters. You cannot hurt them at all, and to come even close to one is instant death, in which the ghost latches onto you and rips you inside all, all while you hear the horrible noise of your body being torn. You can, however, eat some odd objects hidden in the maze, after which your character goes into an even more unstable state. You can literally EAT the ghost monsters. Your character runs right up to them and devours them, only leaving their eyes. There aren't any words to describe how horrific and terrifying this game is, and I don't want to spoil the surprises for you. Just go ahead and try it for yourself. Google the word Pac-Man and you'll find it on the first search.

The backstory for my DnD character (Warlock): Made a blood pact with a god. Was drunk. Does not remember doing this.

The letter "P"

Olive Garden has a whole entire commercial to announce that they are slathering even more Alfredo sauce on everything. That's the whole commercial. "More Alfredo sauce. Hold your applause." There is no deal, no promotion. They are not showing off their non-contact social-distancing skills. They are putting more Alfredo sauce on your dish, whether you like it or not. They are pouring more Alfredo sauce over your pasta before they serve it to you. More sauce. Still pouring. You have been waiting half an hour for your pasta, but the chef is still pouring. "More Alfredo sauce. Hold your applause," he is whispering to himself as he pours. It has been hours, the Olive Garden kitchen has flooded, and the creamy Alfredo sauce is slowly inching towards the tables. "Please," you beg, "that's enough sauce. I'm hungry!" The waiter takes your message to the chef, trudging through the thick Alfredo sauce. You hear a laugh from the kitchen, and then a loud yell: "MORE ALFREDO SAUCE!" and the chef continues pouring. It has been days. You stand atop your table to keep your head above the Alfredo Sauce. "PLEASE," you cry repeatedly in desperation, though you know your efforts are futile, "NO MORE ALFREDO SAUCE!" And yet again, the Chef calls out his perpetual answer "MORE ALFREDO SAUCE. HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE!" You succumb to the sauce. You fall below the surface and allow the alfredo sauce to overtake you, absorbing you into it. And you become the very thing you feared: more Alfredo sauce.

Bread

This battle

5. Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games 6. Wii Play 7. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

Alolan Marowak's AFD sprite on Showdown

Super Smash Bros Brawl (Someone had to nominate it) Marvel Ultimate Alliance WarioWare: Smooth Moves Just Dance 2020 (I needed at least one "shitpost"y nomination)

A turn-by-turn recap of my battle with Totem Mimikyu in my Ultra Sun Nuzlocke. Lead with Rampardos Turn 1: Mold Breaker Corkscrew Crash. Trial complete.

The fact that I've made an actual haiku on this card. Alcoholism Vehicular manslaughter Court-ordered rehab

Your ability to locate the spleen in the human body and explain its functions.

Elon Musk's purchase of Twitter