Xyverns (4 monsters)

[weeb 14]

The Xyverns are a series of 4 generic Rank 7 Xyz Dragon monsters, 1 for each Elemental ATTRIBUTE. Each of their effects are rather different from each other, so they are intended to provide a useful toolbox for any deck that can reliably create Rank 7s. They are technically not an archetype, as none of their effects interact with the "Xyvern" cards as a whole, and they have no specific outside support therefore they are only thematically related. With that being said, on to the cards. 

---

Burstflame Xyvern

Rank 7 | FIRE | Dragon/Xyz/Effect

ATK: 3000 – DEF: 1000

Effect: 2 Level 7 monsters

You can detach 1 Xyz material from this card; During this turn's Battle Phase, your opponent discards at random at least 1 card from their hand for every 1000 points of battle damage they take from this attacking card, also you can only declare an attack with this card this turn. If this card attacks a Defense Position monster, inflict piercing battle damage to your opponent.

 

Design Notes: The Xyvern with the highest ATK, and the only one with a Battle-oriented effect. This effect is activated during the Main Phase, and with this card, if you do 3000 damage, you have the potential to discard 3 cards from your opponent’s hand. Generally, you probably will make them discard less than that – if you only do 1900 damage, for example, they would only discard 1 card.

The effect might sound broke on paper, but my logic is that there are enough drawbacks that balance things out and even make the effect a little more situational. One thing this card’s effect can’t do, for example, that other discard cards can such as Delinquint Duo or even Gumblar can, is that it can’t affect your opponent’s opening hand, which alone makes a pretty big difference. Another downside is, if this card’s attack is negated while its effect is active, you still can’t attack with other monsters. 

---

Whirlwind Xyvern

Rank 7 | WATER | Dragon/Xyz/Effect

ATK: 2400 – DEF: 1600

Effect: 2 Level 7 monsters

Once per turn: You can detach 1 or 2 Xyz material(s) from this card then target 1 face-up card; return that target to the top or bottom of the Deck (if you detached 2 Xyz materials, this is a Quick Effect). That target's effect(s) cannot be activated in response to this effect's activation. This card cannot attack the turn you activate this effect.

 

Design Notes: This is playing with a concept I’ve had where you can detach 1 or 2 Xyz materials, and if you detach 2, the effect gets a ‘bonus’ aspect. Perhaps this concept would work better on a monster that requires 3 materials (in this card’s case, if you only detach 1 material, you lose access to the 2 material effect), but for today’s purposes, we’ll just consider this card as showing off a proof-of-concept.

This is the only Xyvern that has on-field spot removal, and it also has the lowest ATK of the four. Its removal effect was inspired by Raiza the Storm Monarch, and the neat thing about it is, you can use it to bounce back your opponent’s stuff, or you can use it to recycle cards you might want to activate again – such as a Field Spell that searches on activation. Another boon is that if your opponent controls some annoying monster with some omni-negation effect, this card can easily remove it. You have to give up the card's attack to use it, but getting you out of whatever tight spot you might be in may be worth it. 

---

Frostwave Xyvern

Rank 7 | WATER | Dragon/Xyz/Effect

ATK: 2600 – DEF: 1400

Effect: 2 Level 7 monsters

You can detach 1 Xyz material from this card: While this card is face-up, until the start of your next turn, Set Spells/Traps cannot be activated, also those cards cannot be activated in response to this effect's activation. Once each time this effect is active: you can target 1 face-up Spell/Trap your opponent controls; Set that target.

 

Design Notes: I posted this card before in Singles, before changing its effect, then changing it again here. Originally, it also stopped Hand Traps as well, and its Set effect could Set pretty much anything on the field, including stuff you Control. I nerfed it, however, to where it only affects Set Spell/Traps, and you can only Set your opponent’s face-up Spells/Traps.

The card's effect was inspired by Cold Wave, though it isn't as much of a "You can't play" card that Cold Wave is, since it still lets your opponent activate Spells/Traps from the hand. The purpose of its Set effect is so that, even if your opponent has no Set cards, if they have something like a Field Spell, this card can be used to lock it down for a few turns. This card is probably both the ‘best’ and the ‘worst’ of the four in my opinion, because against some decks this effect wouldn’t even matter, but against others it can be pretty oppressive.

---

Sandspiral Xyvern

Rank 7 | EARTH | Dragon/Xyz/Effect

ATK: 2900 – DEF: 1100

Effect: 2 Level 7 monsters

Once per turn: you can detach 1 Xyz material from this card, then target 1 face-card you control; send 4 cards from the top of your deck to the GY, then until the start of your next turn, if that target would be destroyed up to a number of times equal to the number of Monsters sent to the GY by this card's effect, it is not destroyed.

 

Design Notes: One thing that all the Xyvern lack is inherent protection. This card can provide itself or other cards you control with protection all while potentially setting up your Graveyard, however there is a slight RNG aspect to it. Unlike the other Xyverns, that all disrupt something your opponent is doing, this one mainly supports stuff you are doing and doesn’t have an immediate effect on your opponent.

I was unsure with how I worded the effect, but to be clear this is how it works: target a card, mill four cards, then you count the number of monsters you milled. Let’s say you milled 3 monsters. Your target will be immune to destruction 3 times until the start of your next turn. That means it can survive through 3 attacks, or it can survive through an attack, a Raigeki, heck, a Man-Eater Bug… you get the idea.

When it works, its a pretty solid protection effect, but it only lasts a limited amount of time.

---

And that’s it. Looking forward to any feedback or criticism. The thing about creating new Xyz monsters is, they have to compete with every other monster of their Rank that came out before them to justify their slot in the Extra Deck, so let me know how you think these cards compare to others, how good/bad they are, how competitive etc.. Also, out of the four, which do you think is the best? the worst? All thoughts are welcome and appreciated. 

 

[The Old Charlelot 2]

Overall, I really like them. Still got a few things to say though. 

Maybe its only me, but I really think that Frostwave Xyvern is pretty OP, seign as the opponent wouldn't even be able to activate their face-down cards during his/her turn. Despite that, I really like the second effect, allowing to set 1 card face-down.  

Just one more thing, I think you made a little mistake in Sandspiral's effect (face-card). Not really a problem with the card itself but worth pointing at I guess.

Anyway, good stuff. Hope to see more soon.

[Summer Darj 292]

Burstflame: The discard effect seems actually overkill-ish to me. With 3000 ATK and piercing damage, you most likely are going for an OTK with this. If the opponent survives, the handkill effect just secures the would-have-been-OTK anyway.

Whirlwind: You went for a funny way to write it, but you cannot make it a Quick Effect like that. Instead try writing it as a separate effect:
Once per turn: You can detach 1 material; [effect]
Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can detach 2 materials...; [same effect] (or spice it up if you want)
Other than that, it looks good. The Rank7 pool actually doesn't have a generic quick-effect disruptor, so this fills that spot nicely. 2400 seems about right for this kind of card too, IMO.

Frostwave: Another experimental effect, although IDK how I write it with more standardized text myself. I would start by replacing 'active" with "applied".
Once for each time this effect is applied: You can target 1 face-up Spell/Trap your opponent controls; Set that target.
That aside, this is a Cold Wave on legs. Not sure how I feel about that because then it's 2/3 of Shock Master but as a generic 2-material Rank7, and that be really oppressive and an auto-win depending on the deck you face.

Sandspiral: Looks good to me, and the best one along Whirlwind when it comes to power yet balance. This card offers mill support, protection and comes with an outstanding ATK of 2900, high for a generic Rank7.

[weeb 14]

Hey Everybody, thanks for the feedback. 

 

8 hours ago, Darj said:

Burstflame: The discard effect seems actually overkill-ish to me. With 3000 ATK and piercing damage, you most likely are going for an OTK with this. If the opponent survives, the handkill effect just secures the would-have-been-OTK anyway.

That's a good point, I did wonder "should I put piercing damage on this?" but I kinda figured if Chaos Max could get away with 4000 ATK and Double Piercing Damage then it would be fine. Though I guess it is sort of an Apples-Oranges comparison on my part, since the two cards are very different in almost every other way.. I was hoping to minimize the chance of this card being an OTK-push by restricting the other monsters from attacking, but the hand disruption probably would make it harder for the opponent to make a comeback, well depending on the situation anyway.  

Speaking of the hand disruption, I originally thought about making it so your opponent chose what cards they sent, instead of making it random. I also considered making it so it only worked if it destroyed a monster by battle. Dunno if either of these alone would make it more balanced, though.  

8 hours ago, Darj said:

Whirlwind: You went for a funny way to write it, but you cannot make it a Quick Effect like that. Instead try writing it as a separate effect:
Once per turn: You can detach 1 material; [effect]
Once per turn (Quick Effect): You can detach 2 materials...; [same effect] (or spice it up if you want)
Other than that, it looks good. The Rank7 pool actually doesn't have a generic quick-effect disruptor, so this fills that spot nicely. 2400 seems about right for this kind of card too, IMO.

Thanks, I thought the ATK should be relatively lower than the others to compensate for its removal. I guess with the effects wording, my main reason was that I wanted to minimize the amount of text on the card. Do you think if I moved the parenthesis to right after the cost, like "Once per turn: you can detach 1 or 2 Xyz material(s) from this card (if you remove 2 this is a Quick Effect);..." would work instead?

8 hours ago, Darj said:

Frostwave: Another experimental effect, although IDK how I write it with more standardized text myself. I would start by replacing 'active" with "applied".
Once for each time this effect is applied: You can target 1 face-up Spell/Trap your opponent controls; Set that target.
That aside, this is a Cold Wave on legs. Not sure how I feel about that because then it's 2/3 of Shock Master but as a generic 2-material Rank7, and that be really oppressive and an auto-win depending on the deck you face.

16 hours ago, The Old Charlelot said:

Maybe its only me, but I really think that Frostwave Xyvern is pretty OP, seign as the opponent wouldn't even be able to activate their face-down cards during his/her turn. Despite that, I really like the second effect, allowing to set 1 card face-down.  

Yeah, I wondered about this. The effect is based off Cold Wave, which of course is Banned, but I figured if I made it so it only restricted itself to Set cards it would be more fair. Though I realized literally today that the fact it does stop stuff during the Opponent's Turn as well means its possible to lock your opponent's Set stuff for a total of four turns (the 1st turn you activate it, then their turn, then your turn you use it again, then their turn) which... is pretty OP, and probably Banworthy. 

8 hours ago, Darj said:

Sandspiral: Looks good to me, and the best one along Whirlwind when it comes to power yet balance. This card offers mill support, protection and comes with an outstanding ATK of 2900, high for a generic Rank7.

Looking back, I think Sandspiral might be my personal favorite of the four, for some reason, so I'm glad you like it too. 

16 hours ago, The Old Charlelot said:

Just one more thing, I think you made a little mistake in Sandspiral's effect (face-card). Not really a problem with the card itself but worth pointing at I guess.

Ah, my mistake - I meant "face-up card." Thanks for spotting that, I'll fix it. 

Edited February 18, 2019 by weeb

[Summer Darj 292]

27 minutes ago, weeb said:

Thanks, I thought the ATK should be relatively lower than the others to compensate for its removal. I guess with the effects wording, my main reason was that I wanted to minimize the amount of text on the card. Do you think if I moved the parenthesis to right after the cost, like "Once per turn: you can detach 1 or 2 Xyz material(s) from this card (if you remove 2 this is a Quick Effect);..." would work instead?

Still wouldn't work AFAIK because, following the "Condition: Cost; effect", template, the Quick Effect clause is written in the Condition sentence, and here you are writing it in the cost sentence, and thus I don't see it really working. You either have to make a separate effect (e.g. Castel), or add a continuous effect that makes the effect a Quick Effect under certain conditions (e.g. the Super Quant Xyzs).