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Post-Crisis Carlos

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Posts posted by Post-Crisis Carlos

  1. Posted

    The time for overdosing on sugar is here! Hehe...

    (...the end of my existence is near...)

    Heh... and those costumes, huh? What is this... a CONVENTION? Ha...

    (...soon my being will cease to be and I will be but dust. Less than dust. Less than even molecules. I'll be but bytes of data reduced to zeros on a server...)

    ...h-hello? Is anyone there...?

    Haha... I'm thinking about dressing up as Spiderman this year, in hopes that I'll make one of my jokes... stick...

    (...my mere projection simulated by code, powered by the flow of electrons, will be shut off like a switch and I will forever amount to sudden darkness...)

    ...am... am I not funny...? I-Is that why no one's laughing?

    ...Phoebe? Dorothy? Palphie?

    ...M-M-Ms. Frizzle...?

    (...take me, sweet embrace of oblivion! Consume me with your endless depths of nothingness as every trace of thought and memory ever-so barely acknowledged by humanity becomes eradicated into void! ERASE ME FROM THIS LIFE...!)

    ...well, at least I have this bus now, but... it's just not the same...

    ...guess I'll leave, then.

    (...)

    fades

  2. Posted

    2 hours ago, Ivan Ooze said:

    Just gonna put this out there, Kurumi. I've seen the Evil Dead where the Necronomicon is from annnnnnd let's just say, the cucumber is in a real pickle. So much so that I'll even throw this out there: do we really want him to come back after reading that? My thoughts on it, good riddance to talking vegetables, let the dark powers of evil take him.

    Hehe, this cucumber's in a pickle! I like that!

    (...good riddance indeed, though, we might as well just leave him as he is, but fuck if I care either way.)

  7. Posted

    22 minutes ago, Kurumi Ebisuzawa said:

    Fire's a pretty good idea! I'd use it a bit more myself if I wasn't worried about setting the school on fire. Here's your points, plus the bonus for a new weapon.

    Burning them wouldn't be a problem. Just tell them that their decomposing flesh makes them look fat. HEYOOOO!

    (...and then just burn them with actual fire and stare at the flames consuming their being with nature's purest form of cleansing.)

  10. Posted

    1 minute ago, Ainz Ooal Gown said:

    I wouldn't even need to waste the Mana on some miserable excuse of a monster like you.  If you grovel before me, I may allow you to become one of my minions.  

    I may take you up on that, Gru, considering your minions have been outselling you since your first movie. He-HEYYY!

    (...not that I'd be worth anything to you anyway.)

  11. Posted

     
     
     
     
    1 hour ago, LordCowCow said:

    I know just what to get you!

      Reveal hidden contents

    A bus!

    latest?cb=20130713040416

    No, not the girl, she doesn't come with. But you get your very own bus! What could go wrong?

     

    Dude, that's a nice bus! Reminds me of the bus I used to ride on for school! That's a nice thought, man!

    (...that girl reminds me of Phoebe... and Dorothy... and Wanda...)

  12. Posted

     
     
     
     
    1 minute ago, Kurumi Ebisuzawa said:

    Eating brains is exactly WHY I'm worried! All your friends are dead, but all that means is you get to not be afraid you'll be the one that kills them!

    ...dude, too soon.

    (...yeah, that was even lower than my self-esteem, which is... verryyy low...)

  15. Posted

    Hey, look on the bright side! All you have to worry about is eating brains!

    (...makes me envy you, since all your worries are gone. Mine remain forever dormant and lingering like flatulence that follows you even though you walked away from that one person you had a crush on because you didn't wanna fart near them but when you walked back they smelled it and was like "did you fart?" and I was like "n-no...?" and they gave me a disgusted look and walked away, so I just sulked and walked away in shame and sobbed myself to sleep that night...)

  16. Posted

    If there's anything we all need to fear, it's the possibility that all humor in the world goes away. What a future that would be! But there's no need to worry! With guys like me still around, I'm sure there will always be a good light-hearted pun to brighten everyone's day. Just don't make it too bright, or you could go blind! Hahaha!!

    (...fear is just one of the many emotions I can't feel...)

  18. Posted

     
     
     
     
     
    3
    6 minutes ago, Yui said:

    I love me some puns but that one hurt me almost on a physical level.

    You, I like. Plain and simple. I was worried after you seemed to disappear for a couple days that you would end up ghosting the event, but your presence in this thread gives me hope that this won't be the case. I wasn't really sure what to expect out of you as a monster since my familiarity with Magic School Bus is near-zero, but the combination of puns and dark afterstatements simply kills me every time. Don't be a stranger! Pending score: 6/10

    Aww, you didn't like that one, huh? Well, I thought it was funny. Then again, I laugh at every joke I make, so I guess that's fair, lol

    (...that score seems rather generous, though...)

  19. Posted

    On 10/22/2019 at 4:46 PM, Kurumi Ebisuzawa said:

    Are you... well, you know, alive? I can't tell by looking at you.

    Oh, I'm alive and well! Never been better!

    (...if you count being a hallow vessel of flesh and misery as living.)

    On 10/22/2019 at 9:17 PM, The Frost King said:

    Your name says Post-Crisis. What crisis are you referring to exactly, Carlos?

    Only the crisis of a shortage of good punny humor in the world!

    (...all of my friends died in a horrible bus crash and I'm more alone than ever...)

    On 10/22/2019 at 10:02 PM, LordCowCow said:

    Why is the bus seat so sticky

    Oh, I dunno, must just be a combination of leather and sweat that coagulated over time. Whichever cow they got it from, it must've gotten quite the workout before they harvested it. Ha!

    (...I'm certain there were also blood and tears on top of that...)

    On 10/23/2019 at 3:09 PM, Uncle Death said:

    You're looking a little pale there child

    Why don't you go outside and get some sunshine?

    It's good to take breaks between games bro

    What do you mean? My skin is as exposed to the sun as ever! So much that it went from tan to white. Most people don't know this, but once it reaches this level, it's called being "sun-bleached." Very underrated, if you ask me!

    (...some would also say people only get to that level of sun exposure by just standing outside and staring at it until you go blind and burned all over my body, but all it did was make me feel more pain, thereby more aware of the fact that I'm still alive...)

    1 hour ago, Pepsi Man said:

    Are you okay? Do you need a can of Pepsi?

    Nah, I'm good man, but thanks!

    (...like I said before, I'm more of a Coke guy...)

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