Jump to content

Post-Crisis Carlos

Banned

Everything posted by Post-Crisis Carlos

  1. Post-Crisis Carlos
    The time for overdosing on sugar is here! Hehe... (...the end of my existence is near...) Heh... and those costumes, huh? What is this... a CONVENTION? Ha... (...soon my being will cease to be and I will be but dust. Less than dust. Less than even molecules. I'll be but bytes of data reduced to zeros on a server...) ...h-hello? Is anyone there...? Haha... I'm thinking about dressing up as Spiderman this year, in hopes that I'll make one of my jokes... stick... (...my mere projection simulated by code, powered by the flow of electrons, will be shut off like a switch and I will forever amount to sudden darkness...) ...am... am I not funny...? I-Is that why no one's laughing? ...Phoebe? Dorothy? Palphie? ...M-M-Ms. Frizzle...? (...take me, sweet embrace of oblivion! Consume me with your endless depths of nothingness as every trace of thought and memory ever-so barely acknowledged by humanity becomes eradicated into void! ERASE ME FROM THIS LIFE...!) ...well, at least I have this bus now, but... it's just not the same... ...guess I'll leave, then. (...) fades
  2. Post-Crisis Carlos

    Halloween? More like Hallo-WIENER! HO-HOOOO!

    (...I dunno what's scarier, my lack of brain cells or that image in my head. It will all be over soon, Carlos, don't worry...)

  3. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Hehe, this cucumber's in a pickle! I like that! (...good riddance indeed, though, we might as well just leave him as he is, but fuck if I care either way.)
  4. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Boy, things have really taken a turn. Like one of the pages in that book. Heh. (...is it just me or are things just starting to get interesting here...?)
  5. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Post and I'll give you my piece. I've got more feedback than a dog with food poisoning. LOL (...that's... fucking gross, why did I say that?)
  6. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Does your name compensate for your personality? Cause I ain't seein' any oozing from you. HEYOOOOOO! (...I'm not really one to talk, to be fair...)
  7. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Sega Saturn, more like... Sega Sa-TURD! LMAO! (...I might as well just live on Saturn in solitude for the rest of my days.)
  8. Post-Crisis Carlos

    What's the deal with eggplants? I mean, they're not eggs... and they're not plants. Hehe.

    (...fuck you. You suck. Not funny.)

  9. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Burning them wouldn't be a problem. Just tell them that their decomposing flesh makes them look fat. HEYOOOO! (...and then just burn them with actual fire and stare at the flames consuming their being with nature's purest form of cleansing.)
  10. Post-Crisis Carlos

    The event is coming to a close soon and I'll have to bounce. Shame, I'll have to get used to being made of rubber again.

    Hehe, get it? Cause rubber bounces?

    (...just end the event already, I'm tired of even being acknowledged anymore...)

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Larry The Cucumber

      Larry The Cucumber

      [Job] said:

      “Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
          and naked I will depart.
      The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
          may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21 (NIV))

    3. yui

      yui

      my takeaway from this is Job was a nudist

    4. Post-Crisis Carlos

      Post-Crisis Carlos

      If heaven was real, then how come Ms. Frizzle couldn't take us on a trip there? Ho-hoooo!

      (...and why does this lord seem so obsessed with naked babies and old people...?)

  11. Post-Crisis Carlos

    You know, in a zombie apocalypse, you'd think there'd be an abundance of undead insects posing a bigger threat than the zombies themselves. Imagine irritating a bee's nest and getting attacked by a bunch of zom-BEES. LMAO!

    (...I could've sworn I felt a bee sting my temple just now, or maybe that was just the migraine I got from that joke.)

    Don't you mean you could've... SWARM? He-heyyyy!

    (...ugh.)

    1. Bram Stoker

      Bram Stoker

      Oh my lord, the wretched sides of this whippersnapper's psyche are now at conflict.

    2. Kurumi Ebisuzawa

      Kurumi Ebisuzawa

      Insects are too small to bite without making them unable to function. Unless the virus begins to spread through airborne infection, it doesn't seem like they'd be much of a threat in that kind of situation.

  12. Post-Crisis Carlos
    "Pikings"? More like... patheti-kings, ho hooooo! (...yeah, I got nothing.)
  13. Post-Crisis Carlos
    (...is just one letter away from "exit." Really makes you think, doesn't it?) Right? Like how the "s" might stand for "sit"... hehe, that's funny, cause it stands for sit. (...just give it a rest dude, your jokes have never been funny.)
  14. Post-Crisis Carlos
    I may take you up on that, Gru, considering your minions have been outselling you since your first movie. He-HEYYY! (...not that I'd be worth anything to you anyway.)
  15. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Dude, that's a nice bus! Reminds me of the bus I used to ride on for school! That's a nice thought, man! (...that girl reminds me of Phoebe... and Dorothy... and Wanda...)
  16. Post-Crisis Carlos
    ...dude, too soon. (...yeah, that was even lower than my self-esteem, which is... verryyy low...)
  17. Post-Crisis Carlos
    More like "egg"-cellent! Get it? Cause that custardy stuff that you dip the bread in to make french toast has eggs in it? (...not like I need to be french toast to know that life really is pain either way...)
  18. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Overlord? More like over-RATED! HAAAA! (...don't bother using your level 9 spell to take out my heart, you won't find anything...)
  19. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Hey, look on the bright side! All you have to worry about is eating brains! (...makes me envy you, since all your worries are gone. Mine remain forever dormant and lingering like flatulence that follows you even though you walked away from that one person you had a crush on because you didn't wanna fart near them but when you walked back they smelled it and was like "did you fart?" and I was like "n-no...?" and they gave me a disgusted look and walked away, so I just sulked and walked away in shame and sobbed myself to sleep that night...)
  20. Post-Crisis Carlos

    When I can't think of a joke, I always think back on playing catch with my school mates and visualize the ball flying towards me... then it hits me! Heehee!

    (...I sure do miss them...)

  21. Post-Crisis Carlos
    If there's anything we all need to fear, it's the possibility that all humor in the world goes away. What a future that would be! But there's no need to worry! With guys like me still around, I'm sure there will always be a good light-hearted pun to brighten everyone's day. Just don't make it too bright, or you could go blind! Hahaha!! (...fear is just one of the many emotions I can't feel...)
  22. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Well, at least something is better than nothing! (...even though we'll all be consumed by nothingness in the end, anyways...)
  23. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Aww, you didn't like that one, huh? Well, I thought it was funny. Then again, I laugh at every joke I make, so I guess that's fair, lol (...that score seems rather generous, though...)
  24. Post-Crisis Carlos
    Oh, I'm alive and well! Never been better! (...if you count being a hallow vessel of flesh and misery as living.) Only the crisis of a shortage of good punny humor in the world! (...all of my friends died in a horrible bus crash and I'm more alone than ever...) Oh, I dunno, must just be a combination of leather and sweat that coagulated over time. Whichever cow they got it from, it must've gotten quite the workout before they harvested it. Ha! (...I'm certain there were also blood and tears on top of that...) What do you mean? My skin is as exposed to the sun as ever! So much that it went from tan to white. Most people don't know this, but once it reaches this level, it's called being "sun-bleached." Very underrated, if you ask me! (...some would also say people only get to that level of sun exposure by just standing outside and staring at it until you go blind and burned all over my body, but all it did was make me feel more pain, thereby more aware of the fact that I'm still alive...) Nah, I'm good man, but thanks! (...like I said before, I'm more of a Coke guy...)
  25. Post-Crisis Carlos
    I suppose an opinion wouldn't hurt, unless you put a pin in the onion and make an o-"pin"-nion... hehe (...I don't need the excuse of onion vapors to cry for that one...)
×
×
  • Create New...