Blake 312 Posted May 3, 2019 I just feel... happy. And it's unlike anything I've felt before. I feel like I've become who I wanted to be. Who I always believed I was at heart. I've spent the last hour on/off crying happily, and I just feel the need to ramble and post it. Not quite sure how much of my history I've publicly posted, but, honestly... Don't think it super matters? It's mostly water under the bridge at this point. My old fears and hang-ups are disappearing. I can feel some of them just burning away like old photos. My heart is clear, my brain told me I was a good person for the first time in my life, and... Well, it's fitting what this Year in events was supposed to be, even though it hasn't gotten much haha. I guess what I'm trying to say is just that... I'm happy. I was able to help someone who needed it, and I hope that I can keep being there for them. I'm able to happily, freely talk about the things I love. I have dreams and aspirations that feel... real now! This sense of hope is overwhelming, and I don't even know how to express it in full. In fact, not knowing how to express things is... kinda the biggest issue right now. I can even see the path that leads me here. From childhood. From all the things I've gone through, all the things I've experienced, read, watched, lived. I can see how I came to be who I am. I can see things I buried and things that I simply forgot. I'm just... here. And I've become who I want to be. Who I knew I was. Someone that people have said some very... Kind things about, when I'm baring my soul, which really made me cry. The fear, the pain, the scars, they're just... gone. The things holding me back are gone. I feel like I can talk about anything I want, express myself as much as I can, wax poetically about the things I love. I feel like, no jokes intended, I can do anything. Anything I set my mind to. Even things I never dreamed of in my life as actually possible. Hell, as possible for me in any life. Yet, here I am. Feeling happy. Free. Clear. Knowing who I am. Knowing that I always knew who I was, even if I lost my way. Even if I missed a few details. I wasn't exactly right, but... The lessons I've learned can be used to help people. The stories I've heard and told can be used to teach. The experiences I've had can be used to guide others. And I'm just... happy. So... hi. I'm Blake. No more Marsuvees Black. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Blake 312 Posted May 3, 2019 13 hours ago, Yui said: hi Blake, I'm Yui That's pretty dorky. Gaaaah, I fucking met with defeat today, and I don't even feel daunted. It's fucking amazing! I just have to do my best to not be defeated again. And, even if I am, it's an opportunity to just keep trying! I'm just happy. I wanna keep working and doing and learning and growing. I wanna make things to touch hearts. I want to write and compose and aaaaaaaaaaaa And I feel like I can do anything. I just can't express how unlimited I feel right now. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
