The worst Pokemon RP of all Time (seriously)

[Saikazo 241]

So, after being subjected to the worst rp ever, I have decided to share it with all of you. However, it is so long, I have to split it up. Here is the backstory of it before the rp begins. Have fun.
 

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Our rp focuses in a character named Jay. He was Zekrom, who somehow after the events after Black and White, was captured by a team called Team Eclipse. He was experimented on, which turned him into a featureless baby. Like, a baby without a face. Or colors. Just baby blob. Suddenly Arcues himself said 'Fuck you', and with the help of Giratina, teleported baby blob to a family part of Lance's dragon clan. When they touched the baby, it was given form, giving it green hair and Super Saiyan eyes. 

He grew with a little sister name Annie. The family went on a boat, and Gyaradoses attacked, capsizing the boat. Luckily for Jay, Latios and Latias were passing by and save the boy at the cost of their own life. For some reason. And they also saved no one else. However, they left behind eggs that hatch into Shiny Latias and Shiny Latios, who became Jay's pokemon. He was found by Lance, who raised him from then on out.

Jay was terrified of pokemon, and was afraid of them, despite the fact he had a good relationship with the Latios and Latias. Lance forced him to train pokemon however.

Later in life, He joined the International Police, like Looker, and somehow also joined Team Rocket. He met a woman named Angel, and they had sex. Then Giovanni was like, 'Here, have my organization' and Jay became leader of Team Rocket. Interpol got sick of 'being shown up' by Jay, so they sent to Orre, where apparently nothing happens. And this is where the story begins....

Edited December 16, 2019 by Saikazo

[Saikazo 241]

In this part, we meet Dan, the single piece of sanity, at least in the beginning. Dan's family was Eevee breeders, and he had team of an Espeon named Kimberly, a Umberon named Adam, a Vaporoen named Billy, a Jolteon named Trini, a Flareon named Jason, and a Leafeon named Tommy. Kimberly and Tommy were mates, Adam is Kim's brother, Jason is Tommy's brother, and the other two are Kim and Tom's kids. 

Yes, it is important to know.

Kim wants to fuck Dan. The Espeon wants to fuck her trainer. This is also important.

Gang wars break out in Orre... In the Pyrite part. The lone female member of Dan's group was named Sarah, and she crushed on Dan, Dam crushed on her, and they asked each other out. The day before that date was scheduled, the group got into a fight, mad Sarah got knocked out and injured, fractures in the left leg. An Elbow strike caused her to bleed.

She survived, but had to take pain medience. Rose, Dan's little sister/cousin (which is inspired by Kirito minus incest, but still, Kirito) accidentally overdosed Sarah, she died, and gang collapse. Dan yelled at Rose, Rose cried and ran away, and the second in command called Dan a douche. Gang fell apart.

Three years later, Baby Blob comes to Orre....

[Saikazo 241]

From here, we meet Rose, who is starving and near death... As she has been for the past 3 years. How a 12 year old survived this long is one of life's great mysteries. 

Baby Blob's mom died of a rare incurable disease simply called the 'disease', and Rose caught it to. She was found by Baby Blob near death, and he nursed her back to health, despite not liking people, because she reminded him of his sister. He also had a medicine that was created by people that studied his mom's body. He used it on and sent her to Johto, where she got the medicine, and became trainer of the Rocket Grunts, despite being only 12.

Baby Blob got caught in a sandstorm, and he broke into someone's house to get out of it. He was then growled at by the Glaceon Guard Oliver, which alerted Dan. Baby Blob then feed Glaceon, and Glaceon turned, sensing good within Baby Blob. Dan and Baby Blob decided to team up to take on the greater threat, Cipher, which where making shadow Pokemon.

They fought up 100 floor of Mt. Battle, an active volcano (which is actual thing in game), and at the top, they found a Shadow Lugia, which they proceeded to say 'fuck it' and used a Master Ball on it, which she broke out of. And no, this is not Gen 1.

They threw a second one and caught her after fighting her. 

Jay went back to Johto, only to get called out to war against the Dark Legion, They won after we don't know how, because they didn't rp it, but we know they won, and the Dark Legion was spilt apart. Four years later, Baby Blob went home only to find out the woman Angel, who he had sex with, gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. He immediately kicked her out and had Kim, the Espeon, raise his kids.

Kim gave birth to an Eevee that they named Katherine. (This is also important)

Then remnants of the Dark Legion somehow stole the plans of Rocket's evolution radio wave and used it at Mahogany Town. A bunch of Gyadoses attacked, and Katie was painfully evolved into a Sylveon and was in constant pain. Feeling guilty for this, Baby Blob left his family for another year, to find a cure, leaving his kids behind with the Espeon.

They found a herb that cured Katie, from the woman that created the Super Potion.

That is the end of Gen 1 of the rp Pokemon: The Dark Chapters.

Gen 2 will now begin.

[Saikazo 241]

This rp is separated into Generations. Gen 1 was the story of Baby Blob and his friend Dan. Generation 2 is their offspring. And when I say their, I mean Baby Blob's. I didn't join until near the tail end of the second attempt of Gen 2. 

Please, enjoy. Or be confused, either works.

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So, we start off with Baby Blob moving his and Dan's family to Seven Island, where due to Baby Blob being head of Team Rocket and Dan being champion of Orre, they were completely self sufficient on the island. Baby Blob also found out his adopted human mother had two sons, Andy and Patrick, who were raised by Steven Stone, champion of Hoenn. (Despite, you know, Wallaceactually being champ of Hoenn) He also discovered the two of them were the leaders of Team Magma and Aqua somehow, and they decided to work together to achieve 'world peace'.

They defeated Teams Plasma, Galactic, and Flare, putting friends and family as the leaders of the teams. Meanwhile, Baby Blob became head of the Police and merged it with Rocket. And thus, they controlled the world, despite never straight out saying it. (The rpers themselves did not realize this)

And so we go to meet Ali and Drew, the offspring of Baby Blob. Ali was very lonely as a child, probably because of living on a island for rich people. Her only friend was Kim's daughter, the Eevee turned Sylveon Katie. Finally, Ali and Drew had to go to school. Due to pulling strings and lying, calling Katie a service pokemon, Katie got to go to school to, where she also learned human things.

They met a girl named Ashley, who Drew fell in love with, and she fell in love with back, despite only seeing each other once. She was very sick, however, with another 'disease' and died about three years later. Drew was crushed, and bully his sister because reasons. Ali was also bullied at school because she was so pretty and so smart. She nearly committed suicide because of it.

During this time, Baby Blob made a keychain sized device to turn pokemon human because apparently (and this was stated), he is a genius. They tested it on Katie, and it worked the first time they tried it. Kim the Espeon was able to turn human, and despite having a pokemon husband, began to fuck Dan like she always wanted to.

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To be continued

Edited December 16, 2019 by Saikazo

[Saikazo 241]

Continuing the story of Generation 2, Drew was an asshole that bullied his sister to the point she was suicidal. The only reason she was still alive was because of her only friend, the Syvleon turned human Katie. Yes, that was her only friend, despite being a saint, being beautiful, and being smart.

One day, Drew was being an ass and a guy threw him him a table. Drew then said, 'Fuck this' and despite having the mental stability of the Joker, was allowed to leave home to go on his pokemon journey, alone. And apparently he abused his pokemon. We don't know much of what happened, just that he was an ass doing it. 

Soon, Ali and Katie went on a journey together, and because remnants of The Dark Legion was blowing shit up, Kim, the psychic cat who wanted to fuck Dan, who pretty much is just Kim fucking buddy at this point, stops fucking Dan to go with them in human form. Stuff happened, but we don't know what, just that Drew was being an ass while this happened.

A year and a half later, Drew is being an ass as Ali and Katie were facing each other in the finals of the Grand Festival in Hoenn. Ali won, and despite being beautiful and smart and winning shit, she did not have a boyfriend.

You see, the rpers decided to write in a boy named Jake and Retcon him into the backstory. He and Ali fell in love despite only being eight, but then he went in a plane with his lesbian (yes, this is important) sister, but then it crashed. He almost died, but then bullshit happened and he lived and taken in by the The Dark Legion. This will become important later. Back to the story.

Ali and Katie, along with Drew, went back to Seven Island, and they went to the Dragon Den for the Elder's Test. Ali passed, Drew did not. Drew, being an ass, caused the cave to collapse on top of everyone, and Ali was seriously hurt. Katie slapped Drew, and he started falling in love with her, because she looked exactly like his dead girlfriend.

So, his father punished him in the worst way possible. By giving Drew exactly want he wanted and they took him, Ali, and Katie to recieve the Dragon Clan's training. Now we must elaborate on the Dragon Clan. Lance's clan was turned into a mystical thing, and they were turned into Uchihas, and had powers.

Their powers including healing people, being able to talk to their pokemon, literally the Sharigan, which includes a Susanoo Dragon, transferring life energy, overwriting DNA, sprout wings and fly, raise the dead, enhanced strength, speed, etc. Telepathy, firing energy blasts, and to always be right. They can also bent other legendaries, especially ones that had no reason to actually listen to them.

So, Ali, Katie and Drew took the test. First they picked weapons. Weapons. In a pokemon rp. Weapons, even though they had magical powers. Drew had a claymore, Ali a rapier, and Katie, looking upon the massive of weapons, picked the cloth they were on. Katie used the cloth as a bullshit excuse to learn all the weapons.

So their training began. Insert montage.

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Tune in next time, for the Fusion Arc!

Edited December 16, 2019 by Saikazo

[Saikazo 241]

And after much waiting... It is time for the Fusion Arc.

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You see, hidden away in the parts unknown, there was a lab. The Dark Legion was doing experiments on Pokemon, hoping to make more powerful pokemon to take over the world. Most of the pokemon sadly died, but three managed to live, apparently barely. These Pokemon named themselves Gwen, Shelley, and Debby. 

Gwen was a fusion of Ralts and Litwick, which where fused as eggs. And apparently was twins, but one twin willing fed herself to her twin so she could live. Debby was a Bannette and Honedge. And finally, Shelley was a fusion of an Empoleon and Bisharp. Gwen was the oldest, Shelley was the youngest. 

They were abused by The Dark Legion, expect for one female scientist. Horrible, unspeakable things happened to these three, so horrible in fact, they never actually never went into detail what it was, except for the fact they were apparently unstable. Whatever that meant.

One day, Gwen decided to call for help psychically. Only the Knights and Nitsuas decided to do anything about because... reasons. Apparently none of the other Psychic Types in the world could hear or care. So the Knightsuas went to invade this secret lab, leaded by Ali, Katie and Drew, because apparently the adults could not give a shit.

They curbstomped the opposition and freed the three pokemon, and in the process, Trini, the Jolteon, killed the nice lady, She felt bad though. And then spent the entire time trying to make it up to the three girls, until they just brought the nice lady back to life by turning her Yamask into a human. 

And then they turned the Fusions into humans, and adopted them. Ali, the fifteen year old suicidal special one adopted Gwen, Katie and Drew, the most dysfunctional fifteen and sixteen year old pairing, adopted the youngest girl Shelley, and the only actual adult, Trini, adopted Debby. To recap, suicidal, unstable, and pushover minors adopted children ages 10, 9, and 8, and no one objected. Not even the parents when they came back home. 

When they got there, the three got sent to school, despite never growing up human, but perfectly blended in, and Gwen instantly fell in love with a boy because penis. Shelley made friends with a deaf kid, because she knew sign language despite never having fingers, because reasons.

That intel guy gets around.

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Sorry for taking so long, but next time, we will come back full force with... The Dark Legion War arc!  

Edited December 16, 2019 by Saikazo

[Saikazo 241]

So, the beginning of this arc starts with Baby Blob Jay learning that his cousin was giving birth to a baby. He went to see her, only to find out the baby was sick and the mother was dying. He could only use the magic to save one... For some reason, so he used Dragon Clan magic to heal the baby, and in doing so, somehow infused her with his DNA, changing her hair from blonde to green, and making her the child of Jay and his cousin.

The baby is named Sophie, and is put in the baby ward. The mother dies of childbirth, and The Dark Legion kidnaps baby Sophie. They renamed her Ophiela, experimented on her, which unlocked her powers of some sort, but left her blind! The Dark Legion was trying to mold her into the perfect vessel, for once every 1000 years, an ungodly amount of power gathered at the top of the Dragonspiral Tower, and the Dark Legion wanted to channel this power to make Sophie/Ophiela into a goddess!

In order to make sure their plans succeeded, they used their ultimate trump card. They found another baby blob, this one being Kyruem. They molded the original one into a man named Nick Deliora, who had the same powers as Jay because he was also a dragon and a member of the Dragon Clan. They also used his DNA and mixed it with Dan to create Paladin, a half clone of Dan with ice powers.

Paladin used his power of looking like Dan to sneak into the Knights' house and kidnap Tara, the product of Kim the Espeon funking Dan. This triggered the Knights and Nitsuas, causing a war between them and The Dark Legion.

They quickly and magically found the Dark Legion's base, and began a battle! Dan fought his clone, and using the power of words, converted him to the side of good! What helped Paladin decide this though was that cloning was unstable, and he was slowly dying, but the Nitsuas had science that can fix that! Who would of thought?

Ali came face to face with Jake, the love of her life she thought was dead. You see, during the plane crash, Jake's lesbian sister fell on top of him, and her blood flowed into his cuts, acting like a blood transfusion. So he was alive and abusing pokemon so he could help the Dark Legion take over the world. The power of love made him good though.

Jay came face to face with Nick, and the two battled it out, both evenly matched. So evenly matched, they just casually talked as they fought with their swords and magic dragon powers. Didn't use one pokemon in the Pokemon RP.

Because neither one could overpower the other, Ali and Drew transferred their energy to Jay, whose eyes began to glow and his body was wrapped in a green energy, effectively making Susanoo from Naruto. Using this power, Jay defeated Nick, who fled with the Dark King, the two escaping.

At the top of the tower, Sophie was about to gather the energies when Drew and Katie went to stop her! Sophie, in a fit of rage, went to kill Drew, but Katie threw herself in the way, dying in Drew's place. This act of 'true love' cause Sophie to become good! Everyone was sad, but then Jay used the power that was gathering in Dragonspiral to bring Katie back to life. And that is the end of the war...

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Next up is the Kalos arc, the arc I joined in! Stay tuned for that. Please, leave a comment and let me know I'm not crazy!

 

[Saikazo 241]

So, do you remember, Gwen? The Gardevoir/Chandelure fusion that was rescued and adopted by the mentally unstable daughter of Baby Blob, and her boyfriend that got out of jail early because he was 'sorry'? The one that had a twin sister who somehow sacrificed herself in order to save Gwen?

Turns out she was not dead. She was living inside Gwen's mind for all these years. Calling herself Carol, she lived in Gwen's head until the age of 12.

When Baby Blob and the rest of the family found out about her, they decided to clone Gwen, and using psychics hacks, moved Carol's mind into the body, this giving letting Carol live her own life.

This is important, because despite my characters appearing and EVIL looming on the horizon, she took up most of the screen time of the arc.

For you see, as Carol went to school, she discovered something life changing. She discovered... SHE WAS A LESBIAN!!!! DUN DUN DUN!!! She met Janet, a 15 year old with a similar secret, which is that SHE WAS A LESBIAN!!!! DUN DUN DUN!!! The two started dating, but Carol was afraid to call her anything other than her friend around her family, in fear of what they might do of they find out SHE WAS A LESBIAN!!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!

You might be calling me callous for making fun of 'the only realistic aspect of the Worst Pokemon RP', to which I say, it's the Worst Pokemon RP. They, of course, fucked it up. Instead of it being a character arc, one that they eventually resolve, it became the main focus of the arc, overshadowing the fact there are bad guys that want to kill them. Anyways, back to the arc.

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Ali and her twins Carol and Gwen were walking into town when they saw Rock. The boy was lost, and trying to find his way to Kanto (they were in Johto). Ali was about to be nice and help Rock when Reshiram came out of nowhere and dive bombed Rock. Ali, immediately recognizing Reshiram, figured out who Rock was and called him dangerous, because he 'got Baby Blob killed'. Rock tries to point out all he did was give directions to a clone that looked exactly like Baby Blob, and thus had no malice towards the family.

Ali was not convinced, but decided to 'give Rock a chance'. They used their super special morphers to turn Reshiram human, to which we discovered she turns into a girl about Rock's age (about 20 years old) instead of her brother Baby Blob's age, about 30-something years old. This is never explained why this was the case.

Reshiram immediately clinged to Rock because she was convinced he was the Hero of Truth, which really sucked for Rock, because even though Baby Blob's family thought Rock was scum, they treated Reshiram as Baby Blob Zekrom's sister. Giving her the name Robyn, Ali and her girls then took Rock and Robyn all the way to Seven Island, where the Knights and Nitsuas lived.

Seven Island was pretty much a paradise, where rich people live, Pokemon ran free, Suicune runs around, exclusively cleaning their lakes and no one else's, and Xerenas lived in their forest in her tree mode, giving life to all the trees.

Drew was being an ass, and seeing that Rock was there, challenged him to a fight. There was no clear winner, except that Drew was being an ass while it happened. The Pokemon turned humans were cool with Rock, but the kids really didn't like him.

As a peace offering, Kim have Rock an Eevee egg, one that was not made by fucking Dan, but by fucking Tommy the Leafeon. She fucks the both of them whenever she wanted.

Rock left to be alone, seeing as a clingy Reshiram and Baby Blob's family was exhausting to deal with. He found a cave within a mountain, and inside was Regigias! The legend, angry to be awakened, went to attack Rock, but since Rock spent a large portion of his life living with Rhyhorns and wrestling Machokes, he knew how to counterattack.

He dodged he attack and ran up the legendary's arm, punching it in the face. The punch didn't do much, but Regigias did stumble back in shock and tripped over a stone, falling over. It then calmed down, looking down at Rock and patting his head before GTFO-ing of Baby Blob's island and disappearing in the sunset.

Even I wasn't immune to the stupid in the beginning.