Kazooie

i am the twitch chat gambler

twitch chat is, in fact, full of gambling addicts

the cookie to cream ratio in double stuff oreos is objectively better than the ratio in normal oreos

•┈┈┈••✦ ✦••┈┈┈• Screaming. It was always screaming... So many of her dreams in her life involved dealing with screaming and the awful situations that came with it. It was nothing new, it just got so... Repetitive... Not this time though. There was something awful about this, something primal, as if the Earth itself was screaming and crying out for help, shattering in half... It was positively dreadful, to say the least. The fog in the dream kept everything covered, hidden away from sight before it started to part. She was given the chance to see this awful creature jerk towards her direction. It didn't matter how human shaped it was, the lack of detail on it on the creature made it obvious this wasn't human. Infinity She wasn't built for this. This thing dwarfed her own power level to an absurd degree, it wasn't something she could handle at all, by any means. She had dealt with tiny specters and odd spirits here and there, but this was far, far beyond h- ___ Awake. Almost as soon as the dream got interesting, she gets dragged back to reality. The pounding alarm coming from her phone made that very clear. Her hand slowly reached over, grabbing the phone to tap the alarm off. 8:02 AM. She slept through two alarms already. It took a few attempts, but it finally happened and her room was quiet once again. She groaned out gently as she slowly rose up from her bed, her feet hitting the floor as she prepared herself to start getting ready for the day. She had plans to run downtown, maybe run a few tricks on some unsuspecting suckers out there. Breakfast was quick. A quick granola bar was all she needed for the day coming up. There would be plenty of food later if this was a success. She didn't have anyone to bounce her scams off of tonight, her usual partner wasn't able to get to the city sadly... But that didn't mean she was out of luck just yet. As she prepared herself, she made sure to pick some rather... Disheveled clothing, giving her a slightly scruffier look than what she would normally go with... And an obviously mismatched golden watch around her wrist, Vivian giving it a small adjustment to make sure it was nicely snug in place. This would do nicely. ___ It took her a good hour to get downtown. Normally she wouldn't go hitting up bars this early in the morning, it wasn't likely to really give her an opportunity to run a good scheme really, nights were when those places got active... But morning runs could work if there were some good business meetings taking place. A little spill was occasionally all it took to get a marks attention. The little bar-slash-restaurant was quiet this morning, which was beyond boring for her. There wasn't really any chatter happening, there was no one who seemed to be interested in playing a game of chance, let alone anyone who seemed like an easy target for a basic scam at the moment. "Anyway, I better get going-" "I'll see you tomorrow-" "Urgh... It's all so boring..." Vivian mumbled underneath her breath as she propped her head up on her hand, her elbow planted down against the bar as she ran her finger around the rim of her drink. She had been here eavesdropping on people for the better part of an hour, maybe even bordering on two, and still she hadn't heard anything interesting. She was lucky the bartender didn't seem to care about her loitering around as long as she picked up a drink now and again... And gave a slightly higher tip with each drink than she really needed to. It was all an investment in the future after all... But this wasn't it. She stood up, plucking a few extra bills out to toss on the bar as she stepped away. There was one other lead on something she could do today, but... It really wasn't an exciting prospect for her... You can't really gamble a ton on exorcisms. The sorts involved in them tend to not like it when you do that. ___ It was getting closer to noon and against all attempts to avoid it, she had wound up at that game studio from the advertisements. It seemed like people had been gathering before she got here, she might've been a late arrival, maybe she was just on time, she wasn't quite sure. She knew which she would bet on though. "Th-thank you, everyone, for coming! We here at ToSoft care utmost about our employees, so when we discovered the-" Urgh. Corporate talk already. Realistically, the company could have given two shits about their employees, it didn't matter. They weren't going to work when things started to going to shit in the building anyway! Best case scenario, they get a massive wave of people quitting and moving onto less haunted pastures. Worst case, the company faces lawsuits from what happens. "He refused to listen… we had to let him go! Everyone at a business like this has to be a team player, surely you all understand! Needless to say, he was angry, and… he crashed his car in a road-rage incident shortly after leaving the premises…" Oh there was absolutely more to this story than what the blustering guy was saying. But it wasn't her place to go digging for more information on that right away. She technically had a job to do here... "Alright. After a quick look around the room, I was able to see that my PPL was about four times that of anyone else here. I'm gonna be leading this if none of you mind." She can't say that she did, honestly. She whistled softly as the guy walked forward, that was a very, very respectable PPL there. Her own was the highest she had ever seen before, and even among this group she was pretty high up there. She wasn't going to go arguing with the guy who was that much higher than her. It wasn't until he brought up the 'questions' portion that she hummed lightly, tapping at her cheek gently with the hand wearing that golden watch, "I'd like to second Mr. Trench's question about any items that might be in contact with the spirit, but our guy ran out of the building so quickly..." She let out a low laugh, shrugging her shoulders for a moment as she stepped forward, "Anyone wanna place some bets on how long the spirit will take to banish outta here? I'm feeling pretty good about an over three hour time today! Anyone thinking we'll be done quicker?" •┈┈┈••✦ ✦••┈┈┈•

do the dk rap

The Games Begin

this is a hard one, really hard i think my favorite is probably the I saw Flying Lotus in a grocery store copy-pasta. You can replace Flying Lotus with whoever you want, but that one always makes me smile. Definitely sad. Scary is only really relevant to me if it comes with some good story, I don't like horror for horror's sake.

──── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──── Rika clambered around the ceiling slowly, she was intent on not making too much noise, and her outfit, although a similar color, didn't mesh perfectly with the inside of the building. If she was too obvious, she might get spotted before she had a chance to do anything. With Tsubasa lunging towards their target, it gave her a chance to sneak around the back of the panda, her eyes focusing on the target as she tried to imagine what the best course of action here really was. One: They could just try to wear her down, that seemed like a bad plan. Professional Hero, clearly ready for this, went straight for Sun at the start of the fight, this wasn't going to be a battle of attrition. Two: Restrain her. She could only bind one part of the Panda herself at a time really. Ben could potentially tie her down with spiders, and she still had the little friends riding along with her. This was doable, though hard. Three: Get the briefcase. She was probably the only one who had an 'easy' way to dislodge it from a distance. "Honestly I heard just the opposite, that it really puts pounds on ya. I gotta stay fit and look my best for swimsuit season!" Rika stifled a small laugh, instead just smiling as she started to plan her own attack plan. Ben was repositioning around the same time, which hopefully would mean... Xiónglǎohǔ wouldn't be looking for her, instead focused on the spiderboy. She watched as Tsubasa was promptly kicked right out of her flight path with a wince, but that validated her decision to stay as grounded as possible. With the rush of spiders starting to run towards the panda, she felt as if this was a suitable moment... She took a deep breath, tilting her head back as her tongue lashed out towards the back of the Pro Hero. But instead of aiming to strike her, she angled it just off enough to hit against the tape wrapped around her upper body. It might take some time, especially in hitting the same spots over and over, but if she could... A thick, mucus-like substance latched onto the tape as she started to tug at it, it might not remove it right away... And once that tugging slowed down, her tongue would dislodge from the tape. Hopefully before the panda noticed. If she could wear down the adhesiveness, then that suitcase would be a viable win condition... She prepared to lash out her tongue again, aiming for the same spot of tape she had just hit. Thanks to that mucus marking the spot, it wouldn't be easy for her to lost track of where she aimed. If Xiónglǎohǔ started to target her, then maybe Sun or Tsubasa could get in from there. Either way, she had no way to tell them that, she had to hope they would see an opening themselves. ──── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ────

i failed to get character off the ground

you being the professor is why i get to have so many birds though

i'm the person with a house full of birds, probably just a shitton of oricorio think of the lady who lives on the route to Fortree in Gen 3. Then multiply the number of wingull by like, 500. that's the number of birds i want

i sell chaos and discord

that low-key threat to enguin's modship at the end there, woo

This is a quick forewarning but this particular brand of chatter is going to be considered unnecessary chattel in the near future and onwards. I wanted to be kind and courteous and give this warning so you would not be caught off guard. If you would care to make an rebuttal for why I should or should not continue to operate in this fashion onwards, please contant me via the means of private conversations and we can continue this dialogue then.

B3% easy

gigadrillbreaker has come to make an announcement

──── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──── As they approached the testing ground, Rika took a quick breath and closed her eyes. It was sorta nerve inducing, she hadn't had that much time to prepare for something like this. A week, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't much time to adapt to fighting a much more established hero. Teacher. Panda. Before they reached the destination, Rika kicked off her shoes behind her, they were an old pair, not important, she needed full access to her claws for this. She had some trouble figuring out the best way to hide the spiders on her person for the time being, ultimately deciding to have them around her back, hidden by her hair, was probably the best. This would keep them hidden from Xiónglǎohǔ for now, hopefully. With them entering the building, they were met by the stretching Hero in front of them... And then a sudden jump forward. Rika immediately jumped back as she watched the panda hero lunge towards the largest member of their group. Maybe she picked him to avoid getting a sucker punch off on someone more fragile. Like her face... Rika's eyes still narrowed though, that wasn't the plan. Sun was supposed to keep her occupied, that wasn't good, so... Instead with a sudden lurch forward, Rika's maw opened up and her tongue attempted to curl around the panda's arm midsentence. "On your toes, kids! A villain's not gonna wait, and neither am I! I'd say you either had to beat me in a fight or find the case and input the code... But they're one and the same for this exam. Maybe I'll be nice and drop it if you can show me a good fight, hm?" She didn't expect this to actually work, but she needed to do something. She couldn't let the teacher think, even for a moment, she wasn't going to put up the damnedest fight she had in her. With that tongue lashing forward, she lowered her body down to the ground, her fingertips mashed against the floor below her suddenly. The tiny claws began to burrow their way into it, locking her in place... At least, sorta locking her in place. But as the tongue would have made impact, the panda dodged deftly and grabbed it, grinning as she yanked it. Rika narrowed her eyes from the quick grab to the tongue as it lashed out, her fingers sinking down against the ground a little more firmly. She kept herself lowered down, waiting to see what would happen from there. Unfortunately for her, it was claws digging into her tongue. Rika gave a wince as the claws dug into it, but her grip on the floor tightened as her tongue seemed to go slack… And then a tug in the panda’s grip started, the muscle attempting to retract. Xiónglǎohǔ’s response was to let go, letting the tongue snap back to its owner. With that, it quickly pulled right back to her maw, Rika’s grip on the ground letting go as she stood back up and narrowed her eyes. She had expected more of a retaliation. The claws hurt, but it wasn’t a very proactive move in that situation. "So...any chance I could request that you come up here and fight like a spider?" “Nah, you should try bamboo instead. Pretty good for ya!” While the panda had responded, her focus hadn’t shifted from the ones on the ground. The only solution to this matter was obvious, Rika immediately turned and dug her claws into the wall behind her, scrambling her way up it and across the ceiling. As she moved, her skin began to shift hues to match the material behind her. Her outfit might not be a perfect match, but it did mean the panda would have to put a bit more focus into spotting her. Potentially that would give the others an opening somewhere. If she stayed observing the others... Maybe she could get the jump on Xiónglǎohǔ herself. ──── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ────

──── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──── Rika had probably come overprepared. Unlike everyone else, she didn't have a chance to submit costume ideas, she had plenty of time to refine her costume as a result, but... This did mean she wasn't really going to be able to use it in time for this particular assignment. That meant... She was back to her old reliable strategy. She dragged a small trunk behind her as she glanced around the environment they were going to be working with, it all looked... Modern. "I was told to promise you all that there won't be any robots in this exam. I am not really sure what that means, but Glory said it would make more sense to you all." That didn't make sense to her. But, that was probably a good thing. As long as whoever they were up against couldn't read heat signatures then, she should be totally fine to crawl around without having to worry about being spotted. Even if it would be a bit... Well, she would have to be careful either way. She had been expecting something a little more... Nature-y. Though maybe that wasn't the right way to say it. She had been hoping for something a little more green. It was easier to camouflage yourself in bushes, in grass, in trees. With this, she would have to use colors that just... Sorta matched. Grays, whites... And any building that wasn't a color like that, she would have to pray she didn't get spotted crossing. Hopefully her teammates could handle that. She dug through the trunk rapidly, sorting through the obvious non-matching colors, her skin cycling through shades of white and gray as she compared the clothing to it, mumbling as she did. "Mom always said to pay attention to her about color theory, but I thought 'Hey! They have costumes for that now, I'll just get one of those made!' Well, look where you are now, Rika. Caught without the tool you need and a mom who's definitely gonna make a point of it later if she ever hears of this..." Her voice trailed off as her skin started to turn a shade of green and red, swirled about as she worked to pull out some colors that could, at least, blend in with the cityscape they were going to be in... It would require some distraction on the teacher's part, but... Well, hopefully that would work out alright. It took a bit, swapping her clothes around without taking things off in front of the others wasn't a quick skill, but it was something she had worked on streamlining to make sure there were no slip ups over time. It didn't take long and she had on a fairly minimal outfit that could blend in with the city. She took a deep breath, closing up the trunk as she stood up. "So, do any of you have questions before this starts?" Rika's thoughts started to race as she considered any questions she might have. She couldn't ask anything too specific, honestly. It's not likely they would give any real hints on how to handle their teacher here. No... But... Her hand was in the air anyway, the red and green swirls there seeming to become more chaotic, squiggly as she spoke, "Uh... Yeah, what's the alternate 'win' condition, exactly? Since we haven't really been able to plan around it, I'm just... Curious on if it's even realistic to think about achieving it." "I'm glad you asked! If i didn't cover this i might have gotten in some trouble!" The substitute teacher pulled out some crumpled notes from his pocket, "So... Basically... Each teacher will have a briefcase near their person as the exam starts. Inside the briefcase is a keypad, and if you enter 4 3 7 6, your team sill automatically win!" Rika paused as she heard him speak up, that... That could be something very easy for them to accomplish. Ben's spiders... Maybe they'd be strong enough to input that? She didn't know if they were capable of putting enough force on the keypad. That left her. If she could sneak her way to the briefcase and she acted quick enough, maybe she could get it open and... Right. "Do... Can I ask a follow up question?" She paused there, before continuing, "I'm asking anyway. Is the briefcase locked? Do we need to, like, fish a key away from the enemy or is it already unlocked? Is that too much info?" She bit her tongue there, she was gonna follow that up with 'Do you know the answer to that?', but she had a strange feeling that might not get a positive response. "I mean... it doesn't say here that it is. It is probably just one of those little clicky latches. You what I mean?" He made an awkward motion as if operating the latch on a briefcase, "CLICK. Yeah, like one of those ones." Oh. Well, that solved part of her problem, maybe. Hopefully it was just one of those clicky latches, as he put it. If the case was locked, that was a whole different matter... And things would get a lot more difficult. ──── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ────

i'm watching

Creatures are definitely at the top. Haha big creature go brr and all that. I love creatures more than any other type. Then Lands. Because they let me summon BIG CREATURE. Instants are next, because I really like decks that use them well. Kalamax is the main one, and the only commander deck I plan on building IRL right now other than Atla. Then Artifact, just cause they're something I see as a constant. Sorcery is after that, they're usually pretty handy and I like them, but I don't see making a deck around them, you know? Enchantment are underneath that, they're just kinda... There? They're cool, I have a couple I really like, but... Eh. I kinda forget them. Then last if Planeswalker. I just, uh... Get bored of them really quickly, I guess? I don't find them super fun to mess around with, generally.

I'm not gonna do this often, but I'm revisiting this one because I'm actually pretty fucking hyped for Fraymakers. It's basically just Indie Smash which I mean, I see as an absolute win, but like, one of the main fighters if The Watcher from Slay the Spire and I think that's just sick. Definitely recommend checking it out if you haven't and are interested in platform fighters, it looks like it has some real potential.

In no particular order cause I don't really play enough to say which ones I had the most fun with really. Azusa, Lost but Seeking. I like lands. Kadena, Slinking Sorcerer. It's one of the few 'secret' mechanics I actually kinda like playing with. I bet I would hate playing against it though. Ramos, Dragon Engine. I love him as my commander, he's my friend. It's the only rainbow deck I really played. Kalamax, the Stormsire. Duplicating spells is fun. ? Atla Palani, Nest Tender. E G G D E C K. I think it might be my favorite deck, but I really don't know. I love the E G G S. More Egg Support please. Blake doesn't like Atla Palani though. Also, shoutout to it for being Green, White and Red. My favorite color, Green, and the two colors I am the least excited about generally.

absolutely not Birds are my favorite animal by an absolute longshot. Any bird-related content is an absolute win with one exception that won't be named.